Smile )XKCDB


<garblefart> i have dice now!
<garblefart> the d20 is weighted to 3 :(
<eezo> the d20s that I have all fall over to 6
* Kalium rolls 1d20
<dice> Kalium got: 3, for a total of 3
<@Kalium> garblefart: you're right
< nobody> ok people, we have a problem
< nobody> i need a whole lot more records
< nobody> and i don't have much money
< taixzo> thrift stores?
< nobody> yes, i visit the salvation army every day i'm off, its the only one near enough to walk to
< nobody> i need you guys to visit all your thrift stores on your days off, buy all the good records, and mail them to me
< nobody> great plan, huh?\
< couchy> which ones are the good records?
< taixzo> the round ones
<hppavilion1 > So... uh... given the title text of https://xkcd.com/435/
<hppavilion1 > What's Chemistry?
<taixzo > hppavilion1: bondage, obviously
<Agafnd> or we need like. muon-catalyzed fusion
<Agafnd> that needs muons though
<Agafnd> and heck if i know where to get muons anymore
<Agafnd> seems like with the fall of small family-run five'n'dimes, you can't get a good muon anywhere
<Agafnd> nope nope nope. 's a cryin' shame.
<marvin> ahoy
<Jaga> barometz: hey marvin
<barometz> marvin: hey Jaga
<multiplexd> i have two servers which presently have an uptime of 69 days
* multiplexd sighs
<Kalium> nice
<multiplexd> i have now finished my green ice cream
<@Kalium> what kind of icecream was it
<multiplexd> mint choc chip
<hppavilion1> Kalium: green
<hppavilion1> Keep up
<multiplexd> keep down
<multiplexd> i think we have a sniper in here :O
* hppavilion1 's head explodes
<dzamie> F
<@Kalium> people really need to learn to housetrain their snipers, otherwise just letting them run around like this is irresponsible
<taixzo> also, hey, it's a round-number milestone!
<VictoriaB> woo there are now 2^n xkcd comics
<VictoriaB> yeah
<Xenos> 2 kibicomics
<@barometz> if you count 404
<@barometz> which we do, of course, being the avant-garde motherfuckers that we are
<Bucket> the server is slow..
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<Opiboble> way to go Bucket you made people time out
<rcombs> >if you go home with someone and they have the banner of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall...that’s a big red flag
<Oracle989> rcombs, But if they have a Swiss flag, that's a plus!
<@Kalium> yeah, the nearest castle is Castle of Good Hope which used to be right on the coastline until we bult an extra kilometer and a half of land in front of it
<CO2> Kalium: wait you built land in the sea?
<CO2> I see you learned well from the Dutch
<VictoriaB> Kalium: why did they need to do that? SA is huge
<@Kalium> VictoriaB: all of cape town is trapped between mountains
<CO2> Kalium, VictoriaB: see, you have to understand, back in the day people captured by Dutch pirates had to walk the plank like anyone else
<CO2> but the Dutch pirates, being decent fellows, thought that the death sentence was a bit rude
<CO2> so instead they made people build an island first and THEN have them walk the plank
<CO2> and that's where the tradition of the Dutch filling in the sea comes from
[03:06:53] <uberushaximus> sweet relief, dog is finally coned, she cannot keep me up with licking, just.... banging
[03:08:05] <uberushaximus> `ok she broke it
<Stereo> 1 whole minute. pretty solid cone
<@Kalium> Sexting over TCP
<tonyb486> syn, syn, SYNNN
<Froward> its like nerd sniping but, ya know, with more.. lingering..
<multiplexd> Kalium: also, um, what is SoT?
<@Kalium> multiplexd: that's 100% a joke but it goes a little like this: Would you like to recieve a sext
<Froward> yes i would like to receive a sext
<@Kalium> I will send you a sext
<Froward> hmmmm im getting sext
<Froward> i got the sext
<multiplexd> Kalium: ahhhhh
<multiplexd> Kalium: that one
<Froward> wait this was a bad sext can you send anotehr sext
<@Kalium> I will resend the sext
<@Kalium> I have sent you a sext
<Froward> im not sure i have the sext
<VictoriaB> Kalium: I acknowledge my reception of a sext
<@Kalium> I will resend the sext
<The0x539> is this...a TCP three-way
<@Kalium> I have sent the sext
<Froward> i have the sext
* Kalium uses a broadcast address
<Bucket> It's not very effective!
<SpicyLemon> This is one of the cleanest dirty conversations I've ever seen.
<Froward> its a good sext
<VictoriaB> Kalium: you need to time out at some point
<@Kalium> I will end this sext
<Froward> im sending a sext
<@Kalium> after three failed sexts I would have to halve my sext rate
<tonyb486> please resend sext #4
<Froward> I WASNT EXPECTING THIS SEXT
<@Kalium> :D
<Froward> WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS
<VictoriaB> I am sending you a UDP sext
<VictoriaB> it may or may not arrive
<@Kalium> SHIT MY TEA BRB
<@alice> Kalium: Sanitize your cup now. Make new tea.
<@alice> Shit in your tea is a BAD DAY
<@Kalium> hey pikhq did you know it says gullible in the topic?
-!- pikhq changed topic to "gullible | Major sunspot activity sighted; geomagnetic storm expected | ..."
<@pikhq> Kalium: You're right, it does!
<multiplexd> anyone know how the UK phone network works these days?
<CO2> multiplexd: same as in Europe but the electrons have to keep to the left
<Xenos> deadbug: Your horoscope tells me that you're going to get beaten up by a guy wielding a bat. *pats bat* How does this make you feel?
* deadbug dons armor without breaking eye contact and slowly draws his.... LIGHTSABER
* Xenos gets the fire hose
<deadbug> um.
* Xenos shoots a high power water jet at the lightsaber-wielding deadbug
<deadbug> BLGARBLBLGLBLB
<Xenos> Oh, you put out the light saber? I was so wondering how steam-boiled armored bug would taste
* Xenos & Company. Low-tech solutions to a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away problems
* deadbug cracks open a fortune cookie for himself
<Sepet> bucket, fortune
<Bucket> it furthers one to cross the great water. well, most of the time anyway.
* couchie am couch
* Xenos sits im couch
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< axolotl> is there a good reference object that weighs, like, as much as a large mountain?
< Lisimba> axolotl: yes, a large mountain.
<CO2> doesn't it annoy you when GUIs act like smartasses?
<CO2> today I wanted to count the rows in a db table
<CO2> so I use the GUI for that and click on the table and click on count rows
<CO2> The response was "Succesfully counted rows."
< Xenos> Velociraptors: What's a nanoraptor?
< Velociraptors> my twitter nick
< Xenos> I see
< Xenos> What does a nanoraptor hunt?
<@Stereo> subpixels
< Xenos> That almost makes sense
< tonyb486> om nom nom delicious subpixels
< Hg> bucket: carptoid <reply> carp is both a symbol of social unrest as well as good luck
< Bucket> Okay, Hg.
< taixzo> Bucket: carptoid ~= s/carp is both/Carp is both/
< Bucket> Okay, taixzo, factoid updated.
< Hg> taixzo fucking up my anti-capitalism
<rcombs> the USPS API contains an enumeration with options BEES, DAYOLDPOULTRY, ADULTBIRDS, and OTHER
<rcombs> not entirely sure why there's no option for scorpions, as those are also mailable
<Oracle989> Maxim Integrated is a legit manufacturer, right? Not some Best Finest Quality Top Performance Shenzhen Electron Components Plus Ltd Inc Co, right?
<rcombs> I've actually gotten some pretty legit stuff from Best Finest Quality Top Performance Shenzhen Electron Components Plus Ltd Inc Co
<Oracle989> Oh don't get me wrong, Best Finest Quality Top Performance Shenzhen Electron Components Plus Ltc Inc Co can make some good products
<Oracle989> I just don't trust their spec sheets for things that need to be really precise
<Lisimba> what the hell https://structuretech1.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Hot-Flush.jpg
<Lisimba> Someone hooked up the toilet to the hot water line.
<alice> WELL HOT SHIT.
<rcombs> pikhq: just realized I'd installed my wall socket+USB adapter upside-down
<pikhq> Tsk
<rcombs> I have rectified this injustice
<pikhq> ksT
<tonyb486> is the word exacerbate related to the word masturbate
<Hobz> If anyone knows, they'll be hanging out in here
<rabe> Btw, don't tell anyone I'm grill. I try to keep it low key, and simply forgot in my current state.
<Xenos> You're grill?
* BytesAndCoffee puts a nice juicy steak on rabe
<rabe> Yes. A full sized smoker. With all bells and whistles.
<BytesAndCoffee> i'll cook it medium-rabe
<Bucket> I am deep
<Katrie> Bucket: how deep?
<Bucket> balls deep
<Xenos> That's deep
<Bucket> Almost as deep as the Mariana Trench.
<gtrmtx> alright guys, feeling an old movie. hook or office space?
<sean> office space
<Bucket> office space is out of the running by default
<sean> fine, hook
<CO2> I tried to play a very classic game
<CO2> but I kept losing because the ghosts kept attacking me in a pack, man
* jglauche puts duty time in Bucket
* Bucket drops a couple hundred cubic meters of analog synth and takes duty time.
<Copper> that's gonna make some noise when it hits the ground
* eezo puts non-optional noise in Bucket
* Bucket now contains non-optional noise.
<eezo> disabling any kinds of beeps and whatnot are the first thing i disable on a fresh os install
* nobody beeps
* eezo disables nobody
* nobody sad
<eezo> there are few things that i hate more than various beeps and bleeps and whatnot that computers make
<eezo> ugh
<nobody> do you... have any feelings about the old 56k modem carrier tones?
<eezo> yes. I don't miss them in the slightest.
* nobody gives eezo a 10 hour modem sounds vaporwave mix
* eezo donates nobody a stabbing
<jglauche> nobody deserves a stabbing!
<goost73> eezo: I still can't decide among ESL, drunk/high, bot, or something else
<eezo> goost73: "all of it" would be my guess
<goost73> how do you get a bot high?
<eezo> goost73: SQL injection
< SpicyLemon> Technically, a BSOD is defenestration.
<@Stereo> maybe it's like british centigrade, measured in shillings and pence
<@Stereo> and 240 degrees from freezing to boiling
<JoeyLemur> ...and that one call I still remember, having to verify the password, and having the woman on the other end being very embarassed about it...
* deadbug grabs popcorn
<JoeyLemur> Some variation of "fist fuck". It was the Atlanta metro, and I was cool with dealing with this rather liberal new world I was thrust into...
<JoeyLemur> It was my first job after moving out of my parent's house.
<Agafnd> i mean, a great deal of these http://www.whatsmypass.com/the-top-500-worst-passwords-of-all-time are vulgar in some manner


<pikhq> Bucket: literal[*] rimshot
<Bucket> pikhq: Here's the full list (12): http://carabiner.peeron.com/xkcd/bucket/literal_rimshot.txt
<JoeyLemur> "rimshot", in of itself, to my now broken mind, sounds dirty
<pikhq> Yeah okay
* JoeyLemur has... seen things... you people wouldn't believe...
<Agafnd> ...a great deal of THOSE are vulgar in some manner
-- Topic for #xkcd is "What the Xenos!? | The "x" in xkcd stands for Xenos | Don’t be Xenosphobic | Got Xenos? | Got an idea for a topic change? Consider Xenos | Got loss edits? PM Xenos | Got stuff? PM Xenos | Give Xenos love | Give Xenos your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."
* Lisimba gives Bucket a petard, for the hoisting of self
<Bucket> Okay, Lisimba.
<Xenos> Lisimba: Accept this gift
* Bucket gives a petard, for the hoisting of self to Lisimba. Enjoy!
<multiplexd> the next intel cpu vuln is out of the bag now
<pikhq> Is it that certain audio tones anywhere near the CPU will make the CPU boot into LOLNSAHAXXORZ OS?
<multiplexd> pikhq: i think you're breaking embargo by mentioning that specific one; i'm otherwise referring to the lazy FPU context switching side channel
<pikhq> multiplexd: LOL
< Cheez> Well I just had my friday ruined
< Cheez> looked at the clock and it's wednesday
<VictoriaB> hm, I've got some SERIOUS programming to do now
hppavilion1 fills VictoriaB's code with loss.jpg
<VictoriaB> hppavilion1: it's uh, already in there
<VictoriaB> there's a command on the twitchasketch to draw loss
<hppavilion1> VictoriaB: What the fuck is wrong with you
<VictoriaB> hppavilion1: I'm sorry
< permagreen> I have never typed out the letters ell oh ell in that order before and I don't intend to start now
< permagreen> Even if it did mean getting an F on that essay on the lollard heretics
< Xenos> Fruit wars!
* Xenos lobs a kiwi at eezo
* eezo drops a durian on Xenos' head
< Xenos> Eww
< Xenos> That stinks
* Xenos cleans himself off on eezo's shirt
< eezo> the joke's on you, I'm not wearing one
< Xenos> eezo: So you're saying I've been rubbing durian juice into your tender flesh?
< eezo> tender ?
< eezo> you have some weird ideas
< Xenos> Or something
< Xenos> eezo: How would you describe your flesh, then?
< eezo> dead inside(tm)
< Xenos> So... rotting?
* Xenos had no idea eezo was a zombie
< Xenos> I guess the durian might have improved your smell, then
* Xenos puts eezo into the resurrection machine
* Xenos pushes the button
< Xenos> eezo: Now you are living inside
<OracleMobile> So the supplier that sold me off spec materials just got shut down by the DEA
<OracleMobile> Turns out they were smuggling fentanyl in from China
<OracleMobile> I don't think I'm getting a refund
<BytesAndCoffee> where'd ferret and goat go?
<Bucket> furries are everywhere.
<rival> ping
<multiplexd> ICMP echo reply
<eezo> better than an ICBM reply :P
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<multiplexd> OracleTechnologic
<thunk> you're a telephony
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<multiplexd> Oracle buys it, Oracle uses it, Oracle breaks it, Oracle fixes it, Oracle trashes it...
<Kizul> multiplexd: do they ever upgrade it?
<multiplexd> Kizul: well, they update it least
<multiplexd> Kizul: which is only half the battle, if you're using debian
<Kalium> Hmm, the oldest person I've been friends with on-line is probably that 65 year old furry dude
<Kalium> he's like, 70 now, I guess
<Rob1992> how much is that in human years tho :p
* VictoriaB gives taixzo a reverse-allowing diode
< Kalium> VictoriaB: that's called a zener diode
< VictoriaB> Kalium: yeah but it allows current to pass through at any reverse voltage
< Kalium> ah, yeah, that's a wire
< VictoriaB> Kalium: goddammit stop spilling the secrets I'm trying to patent this