Smile )XKCDB

<BytesAndCoffee> stereo: what about a deluxe bacon cheeseburger?
<stereo> i'm against bacon on sandwiches
<stereo> it is the wrong choice
<stereo> if you really need smoky pork involved put a slice of ham in
<BytesAndCoffee> ham does not a hamburger make
<stereo> it does raise interesting terminology problems, maybe that's why nobody sells them that way
<stereo> hamhamburger?
<BytesAndCoffee> ham^2burger
<stereo> 2ham2burger
<@barometz> neat, I just found a bug in my electric kettle
* mothman (~mothman@99180228:3B8BE8D8:6D36E2AB:IP) has joined
<@barometz> .. a software/electronics defect, not a moth
<tbo> I heard recently that in astronomy everything beyond hydrogen and helium is called a metal
<taixzo> yeah
<BytesAndCoffee> yup
<BytesAndCoffee> more than 2 protons? you're a metal
<taixzo> by that standard, Russia is a metal
<BytesAndCoffee> ur mum's a metal
<tbo> taixzo: in russia metal is russia
<tech_exorcist> Bucket: the climate is a hot mess
<Bucket> tech_exorcist: Your mom is a hot mess!
<@Char|ie> morning
* Bucket hands Char|ie a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, the key to world domination, toast, a bowl of cereal, and a glass of orange juice
<@Char|ie> all my favourites!
< Agafnd> matrix movie (movie about the matrix chat protocol)
< DannyGlands> matrix movie (about rectangular arrays of mathematical objects)
< Ahrotahntee> matrix movie (a documentary about OpenGL)
< Thedarkb-Work> I just heard my boss shout "This is impossible to automate and no system on the planet could do what you just said,"
< Thedarkb-Work> Sounds like the migration is going well.
<Bucket> clarinet is a gateway instrument
<rik> it leads to sax and violins.
<CO2> I just remembered something
<CO2> when I moved towns in, uh, 2013 or so, my hospital handed me a CD-ROM containing my medical file and told me to hand that over to the hospital in new town. That new hospital let me know after a while that they loaded the file into their secure systems and weren't legally allowed to hold on to the unsecured CD so they handed that back to me. I kept it. So I have a CD that contains my brain scans
<CO2> - in other words, irrefutable evidence against the commonly held belief that I have no brain.
<Caffeine> Async await async await async await async await async await async await async await async await...
<Caffeine> In the thread pool, the mighty thread pool, a worker sleeps tonight ~
<SpicyLemon> I've just never really cared much for first person shooters. I played Doom 2 a crapload, and even made a ton of my own levels. But never really cared for any others.
<Bucket> Any video game with a gun in it is basically the same game.
<Bucket> I am distracting
<schubisu> agreed
<Bucket> It's for the best.
<schubisu> for sure
<tbo> I wonder if Bucket is immune against covid
* tonyb486 coughs on bucket
<Bucket> This is a sign of infection.
<tonyb486> so many galaxies
<tonyb486> something out there must be fuckable
<@Char|ie> tonyb486: the gene roddenberry principle
* Bucket drops substantive due process and takes several items from the gay agenda.
* tonyb486 solves global warming
-!- CO2 has quit [Quit: All CO2 is gone. Earth freezes over and everyone dies. The end.]
<CO2> "the annoying thing of doing research with an electron microscope is that it tends to lose focus every few minutes" ... I wonder if I was an electron microscope in a previous life then
<tonyb486> god even the microscopes run on electron now? what's left that doesn't need webkit
<amby> so yknow how train systems can be turing complete if you build em right?
<amby> trolley problem but it's with a turing complete train network
<amby> not only do you have to solve the moral problem of where to send the train
<XanT> I dont really get how a train system could ever be turing complete.
<amby> you also have to do the impossible and solve the oracle problem so you know where the train will actually go
<amby> XanT: points can be set in one of two directions
<amby> if you use sprung and non-sprung points in the right arrangement you can make gates
<amby> and it's all downhill from there
<iykury> amby: isn't the point of a train that it's powered so you can travel on level ground or even uphill
<amby> ha ha.
<iykury> ;P
<XanT> but a train system cant even hypothetically have like infinite tape and so is incapable of computing any program.
<amby> nothing real can have infinite tape
<amby> "turing complete" only exists in the hypothetical
<amby> and you can very much have a hypothetical infinite train track
<CO2> when that crashes you have a hypothetical infinite trainwreck
<CO2> oh no wait that's just the USA
<SpicyLemon> Bah... I'm trying to look up nutrition information. This hasn't happened to me in the past, but today, I keep finding information for "Serving size: 1 serving." Thanks... That's very helpful.
<Cortana> that's about as helpful as american healthcare insurance
<nobody> “I feel like a lot of time my writing is like having about twenty boxes of Christmas decorations. But no tree. You're going, Where do I put this? Then they go, Okay, you can have a tree, but we'll blindfold you and you gotta cut it down with a spoon.” ― Carolyn Chute
<Agafnd> i think i could cut down a christmas tree blindfolded with a spoon, and that would be easier for me than writing a novel
< Bucket> You are a nice bucket.
< teatime> You are an ice bucket.
<tea3po> Roses are red;
<tea3po> violets are blue:
<tea3po> The sum of the squares of the lengths of the sides
<tea3po> is the square of the length of the hypotenuse.
<CO2> some people are bad at writing. You could call them bad-writing people. Slechtschrijvende mensen in Dutch.
<CO2> others are worse at writing. You could call them worse-writing people. Slechterschrijvende mensen.
<CO2> but one person has to be the worst at writing. You could call that person the worst-writing person. De slechtstschrijvende persoon. <-- now pronounce that. And count the consonants in a row.
* CO2 harms Bucket
<CO2> harming a human is a good way to immediately pass the turing test
<CO2> everyone knows robots can't do it
<@Charlie> CO2: that hasn't been my experience
<CO2> it's the law
<Bucket> I AM THE LAW!
<CO2> most human people have a physical body.
<tech_exorcist> context?
<CO2> no
<tech_exorcist> ok
<ArdaXi> …most?
<tbo> ArdaXi: you never know
<Bucket> here I am, brain the size of a planet...
<tbo> it's Tony Blair, right?
<SpaceHobo> the war crimes guy?
<tbo> the british clinton guy
<@Charlie> so yes
<ArdaXi> "the war crimes guy" does not seem particularly specific
<@Charlie> there are lots of war crimes guys, but there's war crimes tony blair and then there are presumably other, non-war crimesy tonys blair living in random neighbourhoods in various english-speaking countries
<tonyb486> "tonys blair" rofl
<ArdaXi> I just googled quickly and
<ArdaXi> "Sir Anthony Charles Lynton Blair KG"
<ArdaXi> I'm not sure it's possible not to do war crimes with a name like that
<loudaslife> Bucket: bucket
<Bucket> bucket has 23 ass flavors
<Doggoli> :0
<IceKarma> ... now I’m imagining topical ointments you could apply to the gluteal cleft prior to anilingus
<Vulpes> oh sure, take the easy path
<Doggoli> "the groove between the buttocks that runs from just below the sacrum to the perineum"
<Doggoli> can't say I didn't learn anything new today
<stereo> what they don't tell you about jelly bellies is that the concave side is the jelly ass
* CO2 inconspicuously places a cucumber right behind Charlie
* Charlie notices nothing
* Boom_Farmer inconspicuously doubles the number of cucumbers behind Charlie
* CO2 starts the machine that doubles the amount of cucumbers behind Charlie every minute
* Charlie calculates the moment at which to sell all cucumbers, driving the price down and setting himself up as chair of the global cucumber cartel, then remove the remaining ones from behind himself so they don't continue doubling until the universe contains nothing else
<CO2> damn that's smart
<CO2> hi Kalium, I just ate a dutch pun
<@Kalium> CO2: how did you manage that
<CO2> Kalium: the Rookworst (smoked sausage) from the Dutch store Hema is famous, especially on-a-bun. They have a vegetarian version now called "Ook worst" which translates to "also sausage"
<Bucket> I am ice
<IceKarma> no you’re not, Bucket, *I* am Ice
<CO2> teatime is not tech_exorcist despite sharing some letters at the start
<teatime> I used to go by 'tech' on irc
<teatime> but it's hard to get that name anywhere, turns out
<CO2> hm
<CO2> I can use my current nickname almost anywhere
<CO2> I've been banned from the intl climate protection conference tho
<XanT> Interesting, they could use Azolla to sequestor CO2, its enormously efficient at doing it, doubling in size in just a few days.
<XanT> A single Hectare pond (Dont ask me why they used Hectares instead of km^2 like they did in every other bloody measurement.) can capture 21,266kg per year.
<XanT> Which means all we need to do to end climate change is produce Azolla farms across roughly _1 million km^2_...
<XanT> God fucking damn, we produce so much CO2.
<CO2> hello
<Peng> I haven't watched Doctor Who in several years, but why is there an inverse relationship between the reputation of the showrunner and their work?
<Peng> They should hire Tommy Wiseau
<Peng> They'd win a Primetime Emmy
<@Charlie> bucket sees you when you're sleeping
<Bucket> Bucket knows when you're awake.
<Bucket> fusilliban is mean to cats. ;_;
<taixzo> so don't be fusilliban for goodness' sake
< Cortana> bucketsnack
* Bucket gorges facefirst in a bucket of botsnacks
* SpicyLemon gives bucket a purse full of Girl Scout botsnacks.
* Bucket is now carrying a purse full of Girl Scout botsnacks, but dropped a predisposition to hate the French.
< SpicyLemon> dibs!
< SpicyLemon> ... fucking French....
<Lisimba> I can wash up to... 95C I think.
<Lisimba> I've never used that for clothes but it's quite good at cleaning the machine itself once or twice a year.
<Lisimba> Also if I ever need to boil eight kilos of pasta in one go without caring too much about the taste, I suppose I could do that as well.
<tech_exorcist> what's the song's name?
<Agafnd> lost in paradise
<Bucket> "Lost In Paradise" would make a good name for a band.
<Lisimba> Arm pits are just below where the arms join the body. Ball pits, therefore, are just below where the balls join the body.
<tonyb486> Ball pits are pools filled with balls. Arm pits, therefore, are pools filled with arms.
<Lisimba> It's amazing how far you can get with logic reasoning and science and perhaps a hacksaw.
<tonyb486> apparently i'm not supposed to be bloated and constipated all the time
<Lucent> wow for real?
<Lucent> then yeah I think you should buy some lactase pills
<tonyb486> i suspect the cheese at mcdonalds is so far from actual cheese that it only barely bothers me
<Lucent> horrifying tidbit but I'm glad for you
<loudaslife> wtf is wrong with this damn script
<loudaslife> when I run this command in a script, it produces no output
<loudaslife> if I copy and paste that line of the script, letter for letter, into the terminal, it works perfectly
<loudaslife> neither have special privileges, AFAIK
<gargleblaster> what's the line
<Bucket> the line is "you and me, endlessly, living in harmony, groovin'", if I'm not mistaken
* Thedarkb1 has a look at the Poole Harbour Commission website.
<Thedarkb1> Apparently I'll owe £2.28 for the pleasure of using the harbour for the day.
<Thedarkb1> Nah, unpowered craft don't need a license here.
<@Char|ie> ah, interesting
<Thedarkb1> Put a trolling motor on it and pay ~£200 though
<@Char|ie> if only slashnet could charge that for trolling. we'd be self-sufficient inside of a week
<@Char|ie> it's -19 C here. this is rather late in the year for it to be this cold
<CO2> Charlie: have you tried getting your species to stop ruining the climate?
<ArdaXi> bold stance for CO2 to take
<user_0x78> so yeah
<Bucket> That's why we no longer serve ice cream in #xkcd.
<Eighty> i drunk registered a really dumb domain name a couple months ago
<Eighty> i mostly forgot about it and would probably have just let it expire
<Eighty> but lately i've been getting a bunch of emails from the lego corporation insisting that i transfer it to them to protect their trademark
<Eighty> so i've decided this is now the hill i will die on
<Eighty> they can take from my cold dead hands
<Boom_Farmer> How do bank-acocunt-to-bank-account transfers work in other countries? What do non-USians use in place of ACH transfers that take days to complete?
<tonyb486> ACH? I just tie a roll of bills to the ankle of my bald eagle and send it to its destination, like most Americans.
<loudaslife> tonyb486: is that on the same foot that carries the gun, or the other one?
<tonyb486> either works
<tonyb486> usually I have a gun on both feet anyway
<SpicyLemon> Hey! Good start to the weekend! My lunch plans canceled on me today, and then my dinner plans canceled on me. :/
<SpicyLemon> Both of those things are rare for me to have, and super rare for me to have on a single day. I guess I'll go back to not trying to make plans anymore.
<SpicyLemon> ... I put my pants on for nothing....
<Bucket> pants are overrated.
<ditto_irl> holy fucking shit they killed gilvasunner
<ditto_irl> now all that's left of gilvasunner is silvagunner
<Agafnd> i've never known what gilva sunner or silva gunner are
<ditto_irl> well
<ditto_irl> I keep typing silvagunner
<ditto_irl> but it's actually siIvagunner
<Agafnd> oh
<Agafnd> that clears that up then
<ditto_irl> glad to help
<CO2> hey
<CO2> know what Julius Caesar and Tifa Lockhart have in common?
<CO2> they got impaled during a senate meeting in Rome.
<taixzo> who's tifa lockhart?
<CO2> character from final fantasy. She was in the news recently because someone started a hentai about her on the screens of the italian senate.
<CO2> In Hannover, Germany, the city decided to turn a street into a cyclist priority street. This means cyclists are allowed to ride side-by-side and cars can't overtake them. Someone living on the street didn't like that and sued the city. Since he's a judge and knows the law well he came up with a valid argument: you can't turn something into a cyclist priority street if there's no clear benefit
<CO2> for the cyclists, and since their are cars parked to both sides of the street most of the time, cyclists can't ride side-by-side anyway so there's no benefit. The court of law fully agreed with his argument and so did the city.
<CO2> So the city has now decided to completely ban street-side parking for that street.
<Hoffn> RIP meat loaf
<Hoffn> from ground beef to ground