Smile )XKCDB


<CO2> hi
<CO2> I'm looking to sell my Delorean
<CO2> it's in good shape
<CO2> low mileage
<CO2> only driven from time to time.
<Stereo> sometimes i get 'bad touch' stuck in my head and start describing everything as "the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket"
<Stereo> cause you can clean most things with that
<Stereo> guacamole. the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
<Stereo> i guess to scan it should be one syllable though. eg. BLOOD.
<Stereo> bread. the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket.
<Lisimba> Butterflies. The kind you clean up with a mop and bucket.
<Charlie> horses. the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
<_qrs> A large-scale nuclear disaster threatening the livelihood of the entire southern part of the country with fallout travelling westwards into Europe, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket.
<Stereo> runs. the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
<Charlie> i will admit that since i've been using sulfuric acid for my pipes, i've started thinking of other things it would be useful for
<Charlie> ...probably not so good with a mop and bucket, however
<+Bucket> yay relsqui is back
<DHeadshot> Are they?
<+Bucket> Not really
<Stereo> so it's one of those "pick a number between 1 and everyone"
<Stereo> cause a 0 person rapture could have already happened
<Stereo> or is constantly happening and it's what sunbeams are
<_qrs> thicctoria: yo you're gay
<+Bucket> "Yo You're Gay" would be a nice name for a band.
<_qrs> It would, Bucket
<+Bucket> Damn straight.
<+loudaslife> even if you're okay with riding on actual roads everywhere, there's often not a good place to lock your bike
<Stereo> i just lock my bike in inappropriate places
<Stereo> really anything that's not a wheelchair ramp seems fair to me
<Stereo> small trees? children? great
<Stereo> noone's gonna escalate bike theft to baby kidnapping
<hppavilion2> So what's Mrs. Claus's job, anyway? We know that she fought Krampus together Santa Claus, both riding dragons
<hppavilion2> But, like, does she have other jobs? Is she just retired? Is she Santa's air traffic control? Does she handle the other hemisphere?
<rift> hppavilion2: battle maiden
<hppavilion2> rift: What does she battle though these days?
<rift> ...
<rift> ...atheists.
<Bucket> buttload is more accurately written as "1.00 buttloads"- remember your significant figures, kids!
<Agafnd> Bucket: buttload ~= s/"-/" –/
<Bucket> Okay, Agafnd, factoid updated.
<Agafnd> how's that for incomprehensible strings
<Agafnd> i'm glad bucket doesn't need escaping
<Agafnd> actually
<Bucket> * Agafnd adjusts his glasses and takes a deep breath
<Agafnd> Bucket: inventory
<Bucket> I am carrying fewer cheeseburgers, Agafnd, a collection of famous pubes, why is it hot af today, Saturday, tonyb486's worry, bearachute leg, French Fries, Graham's number, Plan B, the bellagio, "It Came From Uranus" Sci-Fi/Body Horror, an alternate universe where buckets store things in people, ALL the chocolate, a Polybius ROM dump, a crate of M43, 343 Guilty Spark, rowhouses, a ticket for the Titanic, and the hand of vecna.
<Agafnd> turns out i *do* need to escape bucket
<Kizul> GUYS: sequel to "Untitled Goose Game"! I totally know what they could call it: "Untitled Goose Game 2: Entitled Goose Game" :D
<Kizul> (Optionally without the second "Game")
<@pikhq> Kizul: Untitled Geese Game.
<Kizul> pikhq: Now featuring competitive co-op multi-player for up to eight players (local) or up to a whopping THIRTY-TWO players (online)!
<Stereo> my concern with letting people co-op canada geese is they would learn morse code to honk instructions to each other
<Stereo> and geese are too lawless to morse
<Stereo> morsiless if you will
<+tonyc486> I hear this tonyb486 spends more than $3000 on McDonald’s cheeseburgers every month
<Xenos> The *ultimate* killer clown
<Oracle989> When are we getting a Waterworld remake?
<Oracle989> And where is my arctic Mad Max?
<Palomides> ice age apocalyses seem unpopular lately for some reason? :P
<IceKarma> Palomides, I’m only 41 >.>
<IceKarma> Lisimba, are you not aware of all the different ways Shakespeare spelled his name throughout his life?
<grawity> more than you could shake a spear at?
<_qrs> Now you've confused me; start at square one: what is a molecule?
<_qrs> :)
<ArdaXi> it's like… a bunch of balls connected with sticks right
<_qrs> Won't the balls deflate if you put a stick in them?
<_qrs> I don't know if the physicists thought this one through
<ArdaXi> they've got special holes in them for the sticks
<_qrs> Are you trying to tell me about the birds and the bees
<Vulpes> like, I know that some authors consider some of their published works to be fanfiction, but
<Agafnd> right, is fiction about (greek|roman|norse|egyption|whatever else) gods fan fiction?
<Charlie> Agafnd: not unless you think those gods are real
<Agafnd> Charlie: then it's real-person fanfic, isn't it? :P
<@Kalium> real deity fanfic
<Bucket> http://realdeityfanfic.tumblr.com/
<@Kalium> please be real
<eezo> Bucket: wasspord quotes ~= /love/
<Bucket> <WassPord> it's never a good time to emigrate to Slovenia
<eezo> Bucket: wasspord quotes ~= /love/
<Bucket> <WassPord> Then I go apeshit with a lumber axe, like any proper drunken slovenian would.
<eezo> ...
<Bucket> [The Kool-Aid man bursts through the wall.]
<Charlie> lol
<eezo> Bucket: wasspord quotes ~= /love/
<Charlie> searching for love brings up a lot of slovenia
<Bucket> <WassPord> it's never a good time to emigrate to Slovenia
<eezo> jesus christ on a fucking pogo stick
<Charlie> which means you're officially...looking for love in all the wrong places
<@Kalium> My family tells me that the day before I got my eyesight checked for the first time we went to a circus and sat aaaaall the way at the back.
<@Kalium> Turns out I could not possibly have seen jack shit
<@Kalium> That's why instead of a fear of clowns I have a fear of red and yellow blurs
<+rcombs> …the Starr Report indicates that somebody ate somebody's ass in the oval office
<+rcombs> but doesn't clarify who gave and who received
<sean_> We get giant boxes of bananas at work
<sean_> They are very heavy.
<Salamanca> why do you get bananas
<Salamanca> are they required for your job?
<sean_> Yes, I work at mario kart
<@BairotciV> CO2: I was 12 when time started
<@BairotciV> so no
<@BairotciV> er, when Time started
<@BairotciV> the webcomic, not time itself
* GrumpySod (Mibbit@cloak-D2C71150.cable.virginm.net) has joined
<GrumpySod> next time Randal's around could someone just let him know to bump his count of "People refusing to buy his book because he's advertising it instead of posting comics"
<GrumpySod> cheers, and bye
* GrumpySod has quit (Quit: GrumpySod)
<SpaceHobo> next time GrumpySod's around could someone just let him know that Randall doesn't owe him jack shit
<@Kalium> I've always wanted to be a hexagon
<t0es> Kalium: in flatland?
<@Kalium> t0es: just enough sides to not be broke, not so many sides that I'm dying of asymmetry!
<sean_> is anubis the egyptian god of death?
<sean_> or is that ra
<sean_> or is it thoth
<sean_> wait, are they ALL gods of death?
<sean_> Which egyptian god isn't a god of death?
<+BytesAndCoffee> ugh
<+BytesAndCoffee> i want a pb&j but have no j
<CO2> BytesAndCoffee: may I recommend peanut butter and chocolate sprinkles sandwich
<CO2> it's my favorite
<+BytesAndCoffee> CO2: im not dutch, i don't keep a 1L container of chocolate sprinkles
<CO2> hey it's not a liter
<CO2> half a liter at most
<Bucket> nickserv is demanding.
<NickServ> You take that back.
<Bucket> bucket's phone number is 867-5309
* Xenos calls Bucket
<Bucket> How the hell did you get my number?
<BytesAndCoffee> the pronunciation of 'draught' is quite daft
<arble> *daught
<aj> Haha yeah, I had to pin the expired cert fingerprint to connect with SSL
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<aj> It's still serving a cert from 2018
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<aj> I feel like an old man clinging to a dying old vision of the Internet
<aj> Decentralized services are in terminal decline
<pikhq> <3 thunder
* IceKarma meeps
<pikhq> Laaame, the script didn't work
* IceKarma pokes pikhq
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<IceKarma> testing testing one two three...
<IceKarma> testing testing one two three...
<IceKarma> yeah =/
* Joins: password2
<pikhq> That should do it...
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<pikhq> (would appreciate test)
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<aj> ��n
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<pikhq> \o/
<pikhq> <3 thunder
* Joins: Stereo
* ChanServ sets mode: +o Stereo
<@Stereo> <3 thunder
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<pikhq> Oh, did I screw up the indent?
<@Stereo> i think the standard is ninecharacter nicks have no indent? i just threw random ones in
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<pikhq> *shrug*
<@Stereo> <3 thunder
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<pikhq> XD
<@Stereo> it's been a long time
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<@Stereo> <3 thunder
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<@Stereo> ah right, inconsistent client handling of op markers
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<@Stereo> mine does an empty space if someone's non-voh
<pikhq> <3 thunder
<pikhq> Mine does too, I just can't count
* Joins: Agafnd
<pikhq> <3 thunder
* Quits: Agafnd (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
-Global- [Network Notice] spinfire - So long, and thanks for all the fish.
* Disconnected

[ For posterity, the end of the #xkcd log on Foonetic before the network disbanded. --Ed. ]
<CO2> funny thing actually
<CO2> when I do a wrong thing in my code where it starts absolutely spamming an API by accident I call it DoS'ing
<CO2> every single time someone else describes it as "DDoS'ing" because, even though that's a way less accurate description, that's the term everyone knows
<loudaslife> CO2: maybe if you accidentally push it to production it'll be accurate
* billybo has left (I can't keep eating out this giraffe.)
<CO2> wat
* billybo has joined
* billybo has left (WeeChat 1.6)
<Agafnd> had to leave with more dignity, i see.
<multiplexd> rcombs: yeah, the british localisation would be "drinks machine" too
<multiplexd> rcombs: and calling a drinks machine a soda fountain would confuse the hell out of me
<Kizul> You kids today and your drinks machine and your videos game and your MP3s player and your...
<multiplexd> Kizul: and our walkmans!
<Kizul> multiplexd: don't talk to me about your WALKSMAN
< tonyb486> dice: is humanity's purpose to suffer?
< dice> No way.
< tonyb486> guys, dice is broken
<@Charlie> the fact it isn't as pessimistic as buddhists and epictetus are doesn't mean it's not working
<Kalium> bears still mess me up as a concept
<Kalium> we don't have bears here they seem like they're a lot scarier than lions which at least have the decency to not stand up on two legs and tower over you
<Vulpes> Kalium: how are they real
<Vulpes> oh look it's a giant dog
<Vulpes> wait why is it standing
<Vulpes> why is it 2.5m tall
<Kalium> NOT DOG
<null> vulpes
<Bucket> vulpes is drunuk
<null> yeah I think Vulpes would like that factoid
<Vulpes> hey I haven't been drunk in hm
<Vulpes> hours actually
<Vulpes> not making an excellent case for myself here
<orinthe> i just got a spam robocall that started "if you desire to grow your..."
<orinthe> and continued "...insurance broker business..."
<orinthe> i was rather disappointed
<Xenos> Take Viagra, grow your... Insurance broker business
<JoeyLemur> Impress your partner with your MASSIVE... rate discounts.
* JoeyLemur starts imagining an X-rated Progressive commercial
<Rena> "but ENTRAPMENT!!11!"
<IceKarma> Rena, What is the only thing Virginia used their sodomy laws for?
<IceKarma> Rena, oh, sorry, thought I was playing Jeopardy for a sec ;3
<Rena> no that's butt entrapment
<Hawking_is_dead> How hard is dutch?
<Lisimba> Dutch is easy, I learned it when I was just a kid.
<CO2> same
<BairotciV> I think this IRC channel is haunted
<BairotciV> by a ghost named BairotciV
<Xenos> The ghost of BairotciV is angry
<tbo> BairotciV: oh no, what do we now?
* tbo calls the Ghostbusters
* Xenos sets mode +ghostbusters
<MemoServ> The answer to "Who you gonna call?" is actually always MemoServ.
<BairotciV> WHAT THE FUCK
<BairotciV> MEMOSERV ISN'T SUPPOSED TO TALK
<nobody> omg this cheese is so... chewy and good
<nobody> oh this is gouda
<nobody> its... gouda
<tbo> the english word "development mule" is really boring
<Xenos> tbo: Your definition of 'word' bothers me
<eezo> Xenos: your definition of 'definition' bothers me
<tbo> this conversation bothers me
<tawny> the one big complaint I have about moana is that they bring back the classic Disney Antagonist but don't really make him have a presence throughout the film like the old antagonists did, and I think that would've made it more cohesive and make the bad guy feel better
<Peng> you mean the chicken?
<Cheez> git commit -m "Just going to put this over here with the rest of the fire"
<apo> ... I want to do that at work, but have a feeling I shouldn't
<CO2> what snack do I want?
<Velociraptors> Flesh
<eezo> how about we just, y'know, engineer people to spontaneously detonate whenever they feel like saying stupid crap ?
<Lisimba> I don't want humans to go extinct.
<IceKarma> ahahahaha
<IceKarma> Google Docs just suggested a grammar incorrection, so I used the feedback thing
<IceKarma> it said, in the bottom left corner, "Thanks for the feedback! This suggestion has been automatically ignored."
<nobody> also i love and respect you bairotciv, but i have problems spelling your name
<Stereo> it's simple, you write zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba then delete the zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedc then write i, then rot, then civ
<nobody> oh that does make sense, i can remember it that way
<Agafnd> well you can't just remotely patch a car
* BytesAndCoffee loads sheet metal into a railgun
<Salamanca> farage being a major player...the thought of it makes me want to eat my own foot
<Salamanca> and the thought of boris johnson being pm
<Salamanca> makes me want to gnaw the whole damn leg off
<Oracle989> Salamanca: Pretty sure that's how foot and mouth disease spreads
<Kizul> Agafnd: fun fact: they FINALLY corrected the spelling of "Faint Attack" to "Feint Attack" starting in Generation VI.
* Agafnd faints
* Bucket feints.
<Charlie> so i've noticed that the farther north you get in canada, the more depressing place names tend to be, both in english and inuktitut. desperation bay, place with no dawn, etc.
<Charlie> but today i think i've found the winner
<Charlie> there's a guy flying down from northern quebec to meet with me and his plane's stopping, among others, in quaqtaq
<Charlie> wikipedia explains:
<Charlie> The name Quaqtaq signifies tapeworm. According to local folklore, this name derives from a man who once came to the area to hunt beluga and found live parasites in his feces.
<Charlie> "place we found tapeworms in a whale hunter's shit, quebec"
<nodoby> huh, reminds me of how names going south to phoenix from flagstaff would get bad
<nodoby> i don't remember many, but there was bloody basin and horse thief basin
* Agafnd has joined
<Lisimba> Columb: tl;dr you can move adult trees and it's commonly done with commodity hardware.
* Agafnd mentally debates whether that's about plants or data structures, settles on plants
<Columb> Agafnd: since the "adult" specifyer, I'd think plants
<Agafnd> Columb: i mean, it could just be NSFW data structures