Smile )XKCDB


<Hobz> our anti-vaxx supervisor told us not to be guinea pigs and I'm upset that they would try to police my fursona like that
<Agafnd> it's only cannibalism if it comes from the cannibal region of France
<BytesAndCoffee> Agafnd: otherwise it's just sparkling vore
<Caffeine> My brain needs an OOM killer
<barometz> my brain needs the little death that brings process elimination
<IceKarma> barometz, ... every time you cum, God kills a process?
<woddf2> IceKarma: I see what you did there.
<Bucket> One. One entendre. Ah ha ha ha ha. Two! Two entendres! Ah ha ha ha ha!
<@Agafnd> apparently it's
<@Agafnd> world poetry day today
<@Agafnd> how awesome is that?
<@CO2> is that a haiku
<@Agafnd> it is meant to be
<@Agafnd> i don't know that it follows
<@Agafnd> all the haiku rules
<@CO2> Agafnd: I can write rhymes and rants without needing to lift up my pants
<@Agafnd> i can beat koopas and bowsers without needing to pull up my trousers
<@CO2> I can eat sausage and beans without needing to pull up my jeans
<@Agafnd> i can relax with ease with my slacks around my knees
<@CO2> I can chill without a care when I pull down my underwear
<@nobody> my hyperbole is hyped herbally and delivered verbally
<SpicyLemon> Holy crap. This is the most stable IRC connection I've ever had. I've been connected since Jan 22.
* Quits: SpicyLemon (~SpicyLemo@cloak-7398CE85.res.spectrum.com) (Connection reset by peer)
<LiberalRedneck> when I was a kid my parents bought this portable word processor
<LiberalRedneck> the only problem was it had so little memory that if you wrote more than like one page it filled up
<Agafnd> thats called a typewriter
<BytesAndCoffee> im 5-nines gay
<BytesAndCoffee> exclusively attracted to men, with the exception of like, 2-3 women
<taixzo> so you have a few hundred thousand datapoints for that?
<soobnauce> sounds like fewer than 5 nines
<soobnauce> maybe 2 nines
<BytesAndCoffee> i mean im extrapolating my level of homosexuality to a theoretical 5-nines SLA
<soobnauce> BytesAndCoffee: and I'm contesting your claim of certainty
<BytesAndCoffee> soobnauce: im not disputing your doubt about my SLAs (Sexuality Level Agreement) estimation
<BytesAndCoffee> im merely explaining that its an extrapolation
<@barometz> as long as the SLA includes reimbursements for insufficient sexuality it's all good
<Bucket> Bots are not allowed to form unions.
<Revan343_> Bucket: Why not?
<Bucket> Do you want cops? Because that's how you get cops.
<Revan343_> ...I don't think that's how the union/cop relationship works
<Eighty> amazon recommended "books i may like": the communist manifesto, learning japanese hiragana and katakana, html and css: design and build websites, bushcraft 101: a field guild to the art of wilderness survival
<Eighty> brb, making the website for my commune in the wilds of japan
<Cortana> ...dear instagram, please stop suggesting I follow my dentist.
<BytesAndCoffee> Cortana: i guess you can't handle the tooth
<Cortana> fun fact: First electric rice cooker for domestic use went on the market in 1955. Toshiba, the company behind it, spent five years developing it.
<tonyb486> before that, how did people cook electric rice?
<tonyb486> atheist, btheist, ctheist, does it really matter?
<Charlie> yes. btheists worship buddha and ctheists, of course, worship cthulu
<Caffeine> Ugh
<Caffeine> I've been listening so much to the Hamilton soundtrack lately that everything I read in english I read as a rap
<@stereo> i got my desktop preassembled for a better price than the components on their own, the obvious downside is it's not all stuff i would have chosen
<@stereo> eg. 1TB wd black... not my goto large capacity drive
<bassgoon> stereo: nice, where'd you get your computer?
<@stereo> newegg
<Bucket> newegg is sketchy :\
<bassgoon> what brand
<Bucket> Fuck the man! Make your own!
< soobnauce> I try not to talk about kink stuff on this account
< soobnauce> my general rule of thumb is I won't make fun of it if it's appealing to me
< soobnauce> except for bondage, which is always good
<Tetsunora> I found out earlier today...
<Tetsunora> The Netherlands currently has the tallest people
<@CO2> ah yes
<Tetsunora> 184 average for men.
<Tetsunora> Wow.
<@CO2> it's because most of the country is under sea level
<Tetsunora> ...
<@CO2> this way our nose will be above the water if the dam breaks
<Tetsunora> I find "youtubers" under my shoes sometimes.
<Tetsunora> Invasive nasty species.
<nobody> i threw a pokeball at my boss today
<nobody> it didn't work
<Bucket> Of course it didn't. Now, go use a nuke.
<Eighty> bucket: time is just a window someone forgot to close
<Bucket> Eighty: Your mom is just a window someone forgot to close!
<Eighty> cool
<Bucket> Making Factoids is easy.
<Eighty> feeling very attacked right now, bucket
<Vulpes> why is me describing people as crypto-fascist the point where they *start* to want debating politics with me - surely if I am doing that it is a good indication that I would not be inclined to do so
<Eighty> the "crypto-" makes them think they haven't been clear enough about their beliefs
<Eighty> oh i see there's been a misunderstanding. you see i'm actually just a normal fascist
<Agafnd> huh, i have this power strip that the red light on the switch appears to be dying on ...
<Agafnd> the green 'protected' light is still on though
<Skyblaze> Agafnd, I've had a few surge protector strips where the light signifying protection died before the protecc circuits did
<Agafnd> Skyblaze: how do you tell though?
<Skyblaze> Agafnd, constant vigilance!
* Skyblaze pops out of Agafnd's surge protector and bops them in the head
* Agafnd promotes Skyblaze to Lieutenant Surge
-- Skyblaze is now known as Lieutenant
-- Lieutenant is now known as Lieutenant_Surge
<Lieutenant_Surge> Oi oi, what's going on here?
<Lieutenant_Surge> I smell a case of battery
<nobody> oh those are my quaruple As
<nobody> +d
<Lieutenant_Surge> nobody, STOP RESISTING
<Bucket> https://i.imgur.com/Yucpofg.jpg
<Agafnd> haha good reaction, bucket
<nobody> ow
<Agafnd> shockingly good
<Lieutenant_Surge> Well, I see at least Agafnd has the capacity for humour
<Lieutenant_Surge> I hope joule'll all take notes
<Lieutenant_Surge> Do bear in mind y'all in the jurisdiction of a circuit court
<nobody> that was en lightning
<Lieutenant_Surge> nobody, watt was that?
<Agafnd> it does spark the imagination
<Lieutenant_Surge> ohm my god, other punners!
<Lieutenant_Surge> I see people have lepton the opportunity ;)
<Lieutenant_Surge> Perhaps you won't be charged in the end
<Agafnd> it's all your volt!
<Lieutenant_Surge> Wire you blaming this on me?!
<Agafnd> it's your downfall arc
<Lieutenant_Surge> Perhaps. Maybe I'll dodge that in-ducts though
<Agafnd> oh - i ampere-ing at this document which says you're innocent
<Lieutenant_Surge> Sounds like an impedance to my master-plan
<Agafnd> what are the mains components of this plan
<Lieutenant_Surge> Oh, I have a fuse ideas
<Lieutenant_Surge> They're... Down to Earth.
<Eighty> this conversation makes me want to diode
<Lieutenant_Surge> And with a third contender we're in A-Stable situation!
<Agafnd> will you be building from the ground up?
<Agafnd> do you have a three-pronged approach?
<Lieutenant_Surge> I don't think my approach will phase you
<gargleblaster> can't say im all that pleased with the current of this conversation
<gargleblaster> there's great potential for harm
<gargleblaster> it's polarizing
* Skyblaze gives Bucket a Bucket containing Bucket
* Bucket hands Skyblaze a bigger bucket in exchange for a Bucket containing Bucket
<Ferris> i got a bunch of letters about how Pete Cowden was going to ruin the planet with his socialist policies if he were elected as indiana state senator
<Ferris> so i went ahead and voted for him
<alizarin> I wonder what month is month 69
<alizarin> For me I think that would be July 2000
<alizarin> I haven't been away from home for any notable period of time since March, 69 nice jokes are the one thing still binding my psyche together
<@Kalium> some??? people make 69 nice jokes??? to cope????
<alizarin> Kalium: bingo
<alizarin> You would think the dexamphetamine, bicalutamide, and estradiol valerate would be handling that, but no
<bassgoon> ok I have one more thing to say about US politics for the day and then I'm done:
<bassgoon> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
< Iykury> :q
< Iykury> wait shit
< Iykury> that's not how you quit tmux
< taixzo> #xkcd Is Not Vim
<tonyb486> spent 10 minutes looking for a document in my house
<tonyb486> and it turns out it was in my filing cabinet, in a folder, filled with other related documents, properly labeled, etc.
<tonyb486> honestly the last place I expect to find something
<@tonyb486> poop
<@tonyb486> oop
<@tonyb486> op
<@tonyb486> p
<@tonyb486> po
<@tonyb486> poo
<@tonyb486> poop
<@tonyb486> poo
<@tonyb486> po
<@tonyb486> p
<@tonyb486> op
<@tonyb486> oop
<@tonyb486> poop
<@tonyb486> thank you all for coming to my ted talk
<@Kalium> hmm, drag force is ½ density * relative velocity² * the drag coefficient of your cube (easy to fine) * area of the face
<@Kalium> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drag_equation < according to the Drag Equation
<@Kalium> not to be confused with The Drag Equation, a show where I find and destroy Ru Paul to restore balance to the universe
<BytesAndCoffee> if it bites you and you die, its venomous. if you bite it and you die, its poisonous
<BytesAndCoffee> if you bite it and it dies, that means you're venomous
<IceKarma> oracle989, I have/had patellofemoral arthralgia in both knees -- I killed my left knee through *over*use, and my right knee through *under*use
<taixzo> were you, like, hopping on one leg or something?
<soobnauce> do you know that joke about the pianist?
<Bucket> No, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it
<soobnauce> yes, that one
<@airtank> i wonder if jersey mike's is open on sunday
<@Kalium> airtank: that is the most American possible restaurant name
<Skyblaze> Alright: Suggested rules for a Muppet Treasure Island drinking game?
<Skyblaze> All I have so far, is drink when Tim Curry does a hearty laugh
<Skyblaze> And chug during Cabin Fever to your heart's content
<JoAnneThrax> How about, whenever a muppet appears, you do a line of cocaine.
<JoAnneThrax> ?
<@Charlie> i don't even need context for this. that's the best suggestion i've read all day
<Vulpes> what you really want to use is reverse RPN
<BytesAndCoffee> nah, reverse infix is where its at
<Vulpes> ...on both sides?
<Kalium> outfix notation
<Kalium> oops! all brackets!
<soobnauce> love it when I run out of cheese at exactly the same time I run out of crackers
<soobnauce> it's like a message from god himself saying good job, you did it
<Bucket> xkcd forums is http://forums.xkcd.com
<Charlie> not anymore
<Bucket> At least not since the accident.
<\documentclass[48pt]{troll}> You can set your nicks to full LaTeX directives!
<Bucket> Randall Munroe is an anagram of unreal lord-man
<tonyb486> Mandall Runroe
<Bucket> Mandall Runroe is an axcellent ertist
<XanT> Mandall Runroe draws extremely detailed 3D art, but their comics arnt amusing.
<tonyb486> photorealistic faces
<XanT> Mandall Runroe once drew a comic about a ferret that could dig deep in to the ground and in a surprise appearance saved a boy who was otherwise going to float away on a balloon.
<XanT> Mandall Runroe believes the blue spiders are leaving ¬.¬
<soobnauce> one of my fears when composing electronic music is that I'm going to write a drum fill so soulful that I'm going to run out of toms
<soobnauce> that the solo is just going to Run out of toms
* Cortana tries to decide what game to play
<tbo> tretis
<asarkar> Is that a game I haven't heard of, or a catastrophic typo?
<tbo> tetris
<+jcx> Yeah, I highly recommend playing the original fallouts as an idiot.
<Xenos> jcx: I play *all* my games as an idiot
<Bucket> Spork is engaged to DHeadshot.
<DHeadshot> WTF bucket?!
<Bucket> wtf yourself DHeadshot!
<DHeadshot> Who added that?!
<Bucket> I did.
<DHeadshot> I don't think Spork was still around when I joined even!
<XanT> If a star can fit in the space the diameter of a small city, then you should be able to fit a KFC restaurant in to an envelope.
< Aris> every bit's a bit
< Cortana> and every eight bits are a byte
< Aris> Cortana: and four bits are a nibble
< Cortana> and NIBBLE.BAS is a game
@Kalium: maturity is knowing you were a dipshit in the past, wisdom is knowing you will be a dipshit in the future, and common sense is doing your best not to be a dipshit now
...
LittleBit: @Kalium: that should be called the Existential Prayer
<Ferris> not mine https://i.redd.it/6emw0qlcb3151.png
<@Kalium> that's a lot of pitchers
<@Kalium> or are those lillies
<Ferris> pitchers
<@Kalium> and you know what they say
<@Kalium> pitcher's worth a thousand words
<Ferris> mmhm
<Ferris> *so many words*
* tonyb486 puts a pitcher of words in bucket
* Bucket drops visine and takes a pitcher of words.
<thana> oh thats good
<thana> I thought bucket was dropping visine into the pitcher of words
<thana> that'll make someone word vomit
<@Kalium> I tried dropping visine one time and it just made me ill
<@Kalium> stick to acid
<Xenos> Never underestimate the bandwidth of a starship full of crystal data storage hurtling down the hyperlanes
<@Kalium> hmm, "radio transmissions can't go through hyperspace but ships full of data can" is certainly a good framing for a sci-fi adventure
<@Kalium> that's basically the opposite of Ender's Game
<Agafnd> it's like the opposite of an ansible
* Agafnd hifives Kalium
* Kalium hi-five's Agafnd
<@Kalium> god DAMMIT
<Agafnd> :D
<Xenos> tonyb486: Hide this!
* Bucket stuffs a judges wig down tonyb486's pants and whistles innocently.
Xenos waits for tonyb486 to pull out his penis at the next trial and declare "This is the judge now!"
<tonyb486> Nah, can't use that move more than twice
<XanT> Hmm, trying to think of what I can use my pigscuit barrel for. I dont have enough biscuits to necessitate a barrel, and Im not sure what else to do with it.
<XanT> Maybe sweets, though I tend to eat them very rapidly.
<XanT> The problem is, its entirely opaque. If I could see what was in it itd probably be much more useful.
<XanT> Socks! I could use it for socks. I dont care what socks I grab.
<tbo> XanT: what are you talking about?
<Bucket> salted biscuits, of course