Smile )XKCDB


< loudaslife> dammit, there are 3 different sizes of toilet flange and I have no idea which this one is
< loudaslife> the toilet model doesn't neccesarily match to a particular flange
< loudaslife> I think I'm just going to go with 3" and hope it fits
< CO2> that's what she said
< Xenos> Bucket: Invent something
* Bucket creates a Xenos emulator.
< Xenos> Dammit
<+Bucket> Dammit Archer!
< Xenos> I mean making a Xenos emulator is one thing, but doing it in three lines of code is just humiliating
< Iykury> sudo systectdissddm
< Iykury> octakencrations
< Iykury> sudo systectstop sddm
< CO2> wut
< powera> all i got was "Hunter2"
< Iykury> h*ck why did that go over irc
< Iykury> frickin' tty was being weird
< Rena> ENOTTY
< CO2> Iykury: This incident has been reported.
< Rena> cool password btw

< Iykury> just changed my password if anyone's wondering
< CO2> Iykury: what did you change it to?
< Iykury> CO2: hunter2
< CO2> ok
<crawfs> there was a time when one of his replies to "cool" was a dick pic with sunglassess
<Buckley> i find that less offensive than an aids joke
<crawfs> Bucket, depends how much you like the sight of penises I suppose
* Bucket stares at crawfs in disbelief.
<sean> thank you
<sean> I hoped to have sex more than once before i turned 30
<sean> but whatever
<Bucket> <-- helped!
<eezo> oh jesus christ
<eezo> on a pogo stick
<eezo> I was being nice to one of the members of our minecraft server, because I generally am nice to people
<eezo> now she thinks I was hitting on her x.x
<Agafnd> aw
<eezo> this is seriously no bueno
<eezo> lmao
<eezo> i'm literally more than twice her age hahahaha
<Agafnd> she's probably unpleasantly used to creepers :(
<Agafnd> i mean
<Agafnd> minecraft
<Agafnd> but that's not what i meant
* Jax184 gives Bucket two tickets to a furry convention
* Bucket drops its standards and takes two tickets to a furry convention.
<Jax184> that's the spirit
* Ferris puts external medicine in bucket
* Bucket is now carrying external medicine.
<Agafnd> Ferris: now i am imagining a prescription bottle of pills labeled "EXTERNAL MEDICINE" and nothing else
<Agafnd> wait, a bottle of pills?
<Agafnd> what the heck, imagination
<Agafnd> shouldn't that be a bottle of liniment?
<Xenos> Agafnd: External pills?
<Agafnd> yeah
<Agafnd> external pills
<Xenos> Just pour them all over yourself before you go to sleep
<Xenos> I can see this being a hit
<Agafnd> it has a big warning label "NOT FOR INTERNAL USE"
<rcombs> telephone poles are just taxidermied trees
<BytesAndCoffee> no, they're trees that got jobs
<BytesAndCoffee> stripped of any personality, poked and prodded to make them useful
<BytesAndCoffee> forced to stand in line
<BytesAndCoffee> any deviation from the norm is reason for either "corrective action" or replacement
<BytesAndCoffee> ...that got very depressing, very fast
<rcombs> BytesAndCoffee: we literally pump them full of preservatives though
<BytesAndCoffee> rcombs: your job doesn't have ready stocks of chips and soda on-hand?
<NeatNit> I'm not familiar with the local rules, would it be okay to PM davean about the broken random button thing?
<Aaeriele> fwiw, random works for me
<NeatNit> well it does now....
<loudaslife> It works for me now too, but I swear it didn't 5 minutes ago
<NeatNit> some fairy must have fixed it
<loudaslife> NeatNit: most people have it set to notify them when you mention their name, so I'm guessing he saw this and fixed it without saying anything
<davean> NeatNit: what random button thing?
<NeatNit> loudaslife, one can never know if he's really online though
<NeatNit> not even now
<BairotciV> I formed a religion based on loss.jpg
<@Kalium> that's called twitter
<BytesAndCoffee> Kalium: how do i delete your blog
<@Kalium> Look you'll need to be specific about which awful thing I said
< rcombs> some people get down on one knee to propose
< rcombs> I get down on one knee to stabilize a low-angle shot
<BairotciV> Oracle989: you should use less nicks
<BairotciV> your entry in the aliases file is really long

<Oracle989> BairotciV: What? Oracle989, Oracle990, OracleGoddammit, OraclePhone, OracleMobile, and a handful of holiday nicks
<Oracle989> Oh and OracleCarbon and OracleNitrogen
<Oracle989> I think there might also be OracleTelephonic
<Oracle989> Booracle989, SpookyOracle989, one or two Christmas ones
<Oracle989> Can't be more than a dozen nicks
< password2> hi
< goost73> password2: hello!
< password2> how are you?
< goost73> password2: awake! yourself?
< password2> goost73, just finished my 100th park run
< password2> so a 100 saturdays of running 5km
< goost73> password2: do you plan to run 500 km more?
< password2> goost73, certainly
< goost73> password2: just to be the password who ran 1000 km to fall down at someone's door?
< goost73> ba da da da, ba da da da, etc
< password2> :/
< seven> Every day is leg day if you live at the top of a large hill where every destination is downhill.
< seven> My calves are cows now.
<@Kalium> i enter the irc network, I talk to the opers, I run past the channel admins and I
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<Xenos> "I've been tr***g to figure out why some p***le don't fucking spell out certain fucking w**ds, and I can m**e no motherfucking sense of it."
<Kizul> Xenos: i**s b*c**se p**ple don't like to o**end others, so they s**f-c****r. I agree, though, it's pretty stupid. :I Either say the word you're "not" typing, or say a different word in place of it.
<Xenos> Kizul: soof-cooker-ing is clearly a bad thing
<@Stereo> censoring an apostrophe is a power move
<@Stereo> s*********r could be several things
<@Kalium> I did see someone self-censor the word "trump" but like, when they were using it for "x trumps y"
<@Stereo> screwdriver self-censor shareholder spectacular speedometer stockbroker stockholder storyteller strawflower streamliner sympathizer synthesizer
<Xenos> I'm going with synthesizer
<Xenos> I love those
<@Stereo> 11 11 letter words makes a kinda striking block of text
<Xenos> "It's because people don't like to offend others, so they synthesizer" makes perfect sense, too
<Xenos> Lesser forms of music can easily be deemed offensive, after all
* SpicyLemon gives bucket a cat wearing a hat
* Bucket is now carrying a cat wearing a hat, but dropped a space rat.
< eezo> man every time i see a video of north american home construction stuff, I wonder how the fuck nobody made the connection between "build a house out of wood" and "house collapses in a big storm"
< Copper> I mean, there's precedent in the literature
<@Stereo> ah yes, 3 pigs et al
< Bucket> butts should be seen and not heard.
* alice farts
<@alice> take that, bucket!
* Bucket is now carrying that.
<Skyblaze> I don't like these comparisons of "It's like hitting a basketball hoop x miles away moving at y velocity" because, poignant as it is, space is a lot easier to accurately traverse
<Skyblaze> Not to diminish these achievements at all, but the analogy is deeply flawed
<Agafnd> yeah there are no birds for one thing
<garblefart> i have dice now!
<garblefart> the d20 is weighted to 3 :(
<eezo> the d20s that I have all fall over to 6
* Kalium rolls 1d20
<dice> Kalium got: 3, for a total of 3
<@Kalium> garblefart: you're right
< nobody> ok people, we have a problem
< nobody> i need a whole lot more records
< nobody> and i don't have much money
< taixzo> thrift stores?
< nobody> yes, i visit the salvation army every day i'm off, its the only one near enough to walk to
< nobody> i need you guys to visit all your thrift stores on your days off, buy all the good records, and mail them to me
< nobody> great plan, huh?\
< couchy> which ones are the good records?
< taixzo> the round ones
<hppavilion1 > So... uh... given the title text of https://xkcd.com/435/
<hppavilion1 > What's Chemistry?
<taixzo > hppavilion1: bondage, obviously
<Agafnd> or we need like. muon-catalyzed fusion
<Agafnd> that needs muons though
<Agafnd> and heck if i know where to get muons anymore
<Agafnd> seems like with the fall of small family-run five'n'dimes, you can't get a good muon anywhere
<Agafnd> nope nope nope. 's a cryin' shame.
<marvin> ahoy
<Jaga> barometz: hey marvin
<barometz> marvin: hey Jaga
<multiplexd> i have two servers which presently have an uptime of 69 days
* multiplexd sighs
<Kalium> nice
<multiplexd> i have now finished my green ice cream
<@Kalium> what kind of icecream was it
<multiplexd> mint choc chip
<hppavilion1> Kalium: green
<hppavilion1> Keep up
<multiplexd> keep down
<multiplexd> i think we have a sniper in here :O
* hppavilion1 's head explodes
<dzamie> F
<@Kalium> people really need to learn to housetrain their snipers, otherwise just letting them run around like this is irresponsible
<taixzo> also, hey, it's a round-number milestone!
<VictoriaB> woo there are now 2^n xkcd comics
<VictoriaB> yeah
<Xenos> 2 kibicomics
<@barometz> if you count 404
<@barometz> which we do, of course, being the avant-garde motherfuckers that we are
<Bucket> the server is slow..
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<Opiboble> way to go Bucket you made people time out
<rcombs> >if you go home with someone and they have the banner of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall...that’s a big red flag
<Oracle989> rcombs, But if they have a Swiss flag, that's a plus!
<@Kalium> yeah, the nearest castle is Castle of Good Hope which used to be right on the coastline until we bult an extra kilometer and a half of land in front of it
<CO2> Kalium: wait you built land in the sea?
<CO2> I see you learned well from the Dutch
<VictoriaB> Kalium: why did they need to do that? SA is huge
<@Kalium> VictoriaB: all of cape town is trapped between mountains
<CO2> Kalium, VictoriaB: see, you have to understand, back in the day people captured by Dutch pirates had to walk the plank like anyone else
<CO2> but the Dutch pirates, being decent fellows, thought that the death sentence was a bit rude
<CO2> so instead they made people build an island first and THEN have them walk the plank
<CO2> and that's where the tradition of the Dutch filling in the sea comes from
[03:06:53] <uberushaximus> sweet relief, dog is finally coned, she cannot keep me up with licking, just.... banging
[03:08:05] <uberushaximus> `ok she broke it
<Stereo> 1 whole minute. pretty solid cone
<@Kalium> Sexting over TCP
<tonyb486> syn, syn, SYNNN
<Froward> its like nerd sniping but, ya know, with more.. lingering..
<multiplexd> Kalium: also, um, what is SoT?
<@Kalium> multiplexd: that's 100% a joke but it goes a little like this: Would you like to recieve a sext
<Froward> yes i would like to receive a sext
<@Kalium> I will send you a sext
<Froward> hmmmm im getting sext
<Froward> i got the sext
<multiplexd> Kalium: ahhhhh
<multiplexd> Kalium: that one
<Froward> wait this was a bad sext can you send anotehr sext
<@Kalium> I will resend the sext
<@Kalium> I have sent you a sext
<Froward> im not sure i have the sext
<VictoriaB> Kalium: I acknowledge my reception of a sext
<@Kalium> I will resend the sext
<The0x539> is this...a TCP three-way
<@Kalium> I have sent the sext
<Froward> i have the sext
* Kalium uses a broadcast address
<Bucket> It's not very effective!
<SpicyLemon> This is one of the cleanest dirty conversations I've ever seen.
<Froward> its a good sext
<VictoriaB> Kalium: you need to time out at some point
<@Kalium> I will end this sext
<Froward> im sending a sext
<@Kalium> after three failed sexts I would have to halve my sext rate
<tonyb486> please resend sext #4
<Froward> I WASNT EXPECTING THIS SEXT
<@Kalium> :D
<Froward> WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS
<VictoriaB> I am sending you a UDP sext
<VictoriaB> it may or may not arrive
<@Kalium> SHIT MY TEA BRB
<@alice> Kalium: Sanitize your cup now. Make new tea.
<@alice> Shit in your tea is a BAD DAY
<@Kalium> hey pikhq did you know it says gullible in the topic?
-!- pikhq changed topic to "gullible | Major sunspot activity sighted; geomagnetic storm expected | ..."
<@pikhq> Kalium: You're right, it does!
<multiplexd> anyone know how the UK phone network works these days?
<CO2> multiplexd: same as in Europe but the electrons have to keep to the left
<Xenos> deadbug: Your horoscope tells me that you're going to get beaten up by a guy wielding a bat. *pats bat* How does this make you feel?
* deadbug dons armor without breaking eye contact and slowly draws his.... LIGHTSABER
* Xenos gets the fire hose
<deadbug> um.
* Xenos shoots a high power water jet at the lightsaber-wielding deadbug
<deadbug> BLGARBLBLGLBLB
<Xenos> Oh, you put out the light saber? I was so wondering how steam-boiled armored bug would taste
* Xenos & Company. Low-tech solutions to a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away problems
* deadbug cracks open a fortune cookie for himself
<Sepet> bucket, fortune
<Bucket> it furthers one to cross the great water. well, most of the time anyway.
* couchie am couch
* Xenos sits im couch
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< axolotl> is there a good reference object that weighs, like, as much as a large mountain?
< Lisimba> axolotl: yes, a large mountain.
<CO2> doesn't it annoy you when GUIs act like smartasses?
<CO2> today I wanted to count the rows in a db table
<CO2> so I use the GUI for that and click on the table and click on count rows
<CO2> The response was "Succesfully counted rows."
< Xenos> Velociraptors: What's a nanoraptor?
< Velociraptors> my twitter nick
< Xenos> I see
< Xenos> What does a nanoraptor hunt?
<@Stereo> subpixels
< Xenos> That almost makes sense
< tonyb486> om nom nom delicious subpixels
< Hg> bucket: carptoid <reply> carp is both a symbol of social unrest as well as good luck
< Bucket> Okay, Hg.
< taixzo> Bucket: carptoid ~= s/carp is both/Carp is both/
< Bucket> Okay, taixzo, factoid updated.
< Hg> taixzo fucking up my anti-capitalism
<rcombs> the USPS API contains an enumeration with options BEES, DAYOLDPOULTRY, ADULTBIRDS, and OTHER
<rcombs> not entirely sure why there's no option for scorpions, as those are also mailable
<Oracle989> Maxim Integrated is a legit manufacturer, right? Not some Best Finest Quality Top Performance Shenzhen Electron Components Plus Ltd Inc Co, right?
<rcombs> I've actually gotten some pretty legit stuff from Best Finest Quality Top Performance Shenzhen Electron Components Plus Ltd Inc Co
<Oracle989> Oh don't get me wrong, Best Finest Quality Top Performance Shenzhen Electron Components Plus Ltc Inc Co can make some good products
<Oracle989> I just don't trust their spec sheets for things that need to be really precise
<Lisimba> what the hell https://structuretech1.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Hot-Flush.jpg
<Lisimba> Someone hooked up the toilet to the hot water line.
<alice> WELL HOT SHIT.
<rcombs> pikhq: just realized I'd installed my wall socket+USB adapter upside-down
<pikhq> Tsk
<rcombs> I have rectified this injustice
<pikhq> ksT
<tonyb486> is the word exacerbate related to the word masturbate
<Hobz> If anyone knows, they'll be hanging out in here
<rabe> Btw, don't tell anyone I'm grill. I try to keep it low key, and simply forgot in my current state.
<Xenos> You're grill?
* BytesAndCoffee puts a nice juicy steak on rabe
<rabe> Yes. A full sized smoker. With all bells and whistles.
<BytesAndCoffee> i'll cook it medium-rabe