Smile )XKCDB


<CO2> tonyb486: please don't park your car in my living room. First of all, that's hella rude. Secondly, how did you get your car up to the 2nd floor?
<tonyb486> A crane
<CO2> seems inefficient
<tonyb486> It’s cheaper than a parking spot in Manhattan
<CO2> lol
<@Agafnd> IN A WORLD
<@tonyb486> WHERE PENGUINS FLY
<@Agafnd> ONE PENGUIN
<@tonyb486> FROM OUTER SPACE
<@Agafnd> IS GOING
<@tonyb486> TO WIN THE WAR
<@Agafnd> AGAINST
<@tonyb486> ADOLF HITLER
<@Agafnd> COMING THIS FALL
<@tonyb486> INGLORIOUS PENGUINS
<@Agafnd> LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA
<@tonyb486> AS ADOLF HITLER
<@Agafnd> JOSH GAD
<@tonyb486> AS THE PENGUINSHIP 1
<@Agafnd> AND MORGAN FREEMAN
<@tonyb486> AS PENGUIN P. PENGUINSON
<@Agafnd> THIS TIME
<@tonyb486> IT'S PENGUINAL
<@Agafnd> wow this sounds like a good movie
<@tonyb486> i kno rite
<@tonyb486> lets call fox
<ThatBum> CO2: In california the water level of lake oroville is so low that it's about to knock offline the state's largest hydroelectric power plant
<Lisimba> They should have put their hydro plants in the sea, there's infinite water there.
<ArdaXi> Lisimba: just wait for climate change to cause the sea levels to rise, then use that!
<ditto_irl> but I do think fight club needs a reboot where the director finds some way to more clearly communicate that tyler durden's ideology leads to unnecessary suffering
<sr-> i think we need a fight club reboot where brad pitt realizes he's an old geezer now and chills the fuck out
<lilmisschaos> I want the fight club reboot where everyone is replaced with Bucket
<scgtrp> linguistic trivia: 'tempura' comes from the latin 'tempora' ('time'). it is an acknowledgement of the ephemerality of fried things
<Kliment> scgtrp: that's one of two theories, and the more popular one
<Kliment> scgtrp: the other one is that it comes from a portuguese word for "seasoning"
<scgtrp> wait what
<scgtrp> I was making shit up but this appears to be an actual thing?
<Kliment> scgtrp: yes
<Kliment> scgtrp: it's assumed to be an abbreviation of "quatuor anni tempora" which refers to days when no meat is eaten
<scgtrp> yeah, I have since looked it up
<scgtrp> I'm an accidental linguist~
<bassgoon> might get up to 100F in vancounver soon...that doesn't seem common
<katp32> using degrees fahrenheight to denote the temperature in a place that isn't the US is a sin
<Eighty> to do a sin you have to convert to radians first
<Isaac> tech_exorcist: little known secret, I am in fact my own, sentient, custom built computer
<tech_exorcist> ok
<@CO2> lol
<@CO2> tonyb486: help Isaac is getting sentient
<@tonyb486> dang
<@tonyb486> should i shoot him?
<@CO2> ...damn americans, always shooting first
<@tonyb486> hey look at least i asked
<@CO2> fair
<BytesAndCoffee> dzamie: what about dragon vore
<BytesAndCoffee> does it double-ding?
<dzamie> BytesAndCoffee: Nah, it's per-message
<BytesAndCoffee> lol
<dzamie> but dragon pred *is* the best kind of vore!
Eighty (~Eighty@cloak-AD4B9AE4.sd.sd.cox.net) joined the channel
<BytesAndCoffee> mmm, endo dragon vore
<BytesAndCoffee> safe and cozy
<dzamie> comforted by gentle purrs spurred on by rubbing their belly
<BytesAndCoffee> Eighty: man, what a time to walk in
<dzamie> lol
<Eighty> im home
<Char|ie> i saw protein subunit open for correct horse battery staple once
<BytesAndCoffee> Char|ie: goddamit you made me think i was having a stroke for a second there
<Char|ie> BytesAndCoffee: in the proud canadian tradition: sorry
<BytesAndCoffee> Char|ie: how long have you lived in Canada, again?
<Char|ie> 17 years
<BytesAndCoffee> ah
<BytesAndCoffee> Char|ie: gonna need you to fill out forms 50RR-Y, M4-P13, and 077-4-W4 to officially accept that apology
<Char|ie> BytesAndCoffee: due to covid backlogs there'll be a processing delay of 3 to 5 business years
<Bucket> question. is anyone hungry?
<Agafnd> i just ate, Bucket
<Bucket> Oh. Well, that's good.
<Branes> AI isn't the future, AI is the past squeezed through multiple questionable algorithmic filters into an unwilling present.
<Lisimba> That's how humans have always made the future.
<Lisimba> Running the questionable filters on computers instead of meat brains doesn't make all that much difference in the outcome, we can just do a lot more of it.
<ArdaXi> ow, I thought I had a doctor's appointment to just get a diagnosis, ended up getting 2ml injected into my hand, do not recommend
<Agafnd> 2ml of what
<@barometz> of hand
<@barometz> ArdaXi was running low on hand
<Hobz> our anti-vaxx supervisor told us not to be guinea pigs and I'm upset that they would try to police my fursona like that
<Agafnd> it's only cannibalism if it comes from the cannibal region of France
<BytesAndCoffee> Agafnd: otherwise it's just sparkling vore
<Caffeine> My brain needs an OOM killer
<barometz> my brain needs the little death that brings process elimination
<IceKarma> barometz, ... every time you cum, God kills a process?
<woddf2> IceKarma: I see what you did there.
<Bucket> One. One entendre. Ah ha ha ha ha. Two! Two entendres! Ah ha ha ha ha!
<@Agafnd> apparently it's
<@Agafnd> world poetry day today
<@Agafnd> how awesome is that?
<@CO2> is that a haiku
<@Agafnd> it is meant to be
<@Agafnd> i don't know that it follows
<@Agafnd> all the haiku rules
<@CO2> Agafnd: I can write rhymes and rants without needing to lift up my pants
<@Agafnd> i can beat koopas and bowsers without needing to pull up my trousers
<@CO2> I can eat sausage and beans without needing to pull up my jeans
<@Agafnd> i can relax with ease with my slacks around my knees
<@CO2> I can chill without a care when I pull down my underwear
<@nobody> my hyperbole is hyped herbally and delivered verbally
<SpicyLemon> Holy crap. This is the most stable IRC connection I've ever had. I've been connected since Jan 22.
* Quits: SpicyLemon (~SpicyLemo@cloak-7398CE85.res.spectrum.com) (Connection reset by peer)
<LiberalRedneck> when I was a kid my parents bought this portable word processor
<LiberalRedneck> the only problem was it had so little memory that if you wrote more than like one page it filled up
<Agafnd> thats called a typewriter
<BytesAndCoffee> im 5-nines gay
<BytesAndCoffee> exclusively attracted to men, with the exception of like, 2-3 women
<taixzo> so you have a few hundred thousand datapoints for that?
<soobnauce> sounds like fewer than 5 nines
<soobnauce> maybe 2 nines
<BytesAndCoffee> i mean im extrapolating my level of homosexuality to a theoretical 5-nines SLA
<soobnauce> BytesAndCoffee: and I'm contesting your claim of certainty
<BytesAndCoffee> soobnauce: im not disputing your doubt about my SLAs (Sexuality Level Agreement) estimation
<BytesAndCoffee> im merely explaining that its an extrapolation
<@barometz> as long as the SLA includes reimbursements for insufficient sexuality it's all good
<Bucket> Bots are not allowed to form unions.
<Revan343_> Bucket: Why not?
<Bucket> Do you want cops? Because that's how you get cops.
<Revan343_> ...I don't think that's how the union/cop relationship works
<Eighty> amazon recommended "books i may like": the communist manifesto, learning japanese hiragana and katakana, html and css: design and build websites, bushcraft 101: a field guild to the art of wilderness survival
<Eighty> brb, making the website for my commune in the wilds of japan
<Cortana> ...dear instagram, please stop suggesting I follow my dentist.
<BytesAndCoffee> Cortana: i guess you can't handle the tooth
<Cortana> fun fact: First electric rice cooker for domestic use went on the market in 1955. Toshiba, the company behind it, spent five years developing it.
<tonyb486> before that, how did people cook electric rice?
<tonyb486> atheist, btheist, ctheist, does it really matter?
<Charlie> yes. btheists worship buddha and ctheists, of course, worship cthulu
<Caffeine> Ugh
<Caffeine> I've been listening so much to the Hamilton soundtrack lately that everything I read in english I read as a rap
<@stereo> i got my desktop preassembled for a better price than the components on their own, the obvious downside is it's not all stuff i would have chosen
<@stereo> eg. 1TB wd black... not my goto large capacity drive
<bassgoon> stereo: nice, where'd you get your computer?
<@stereo> newegg
<Bucket> newegg is sketchy :\
<bassgoon> what brand
<Bucket> Fuck the man! Make your own!
< soobnauce> I try not to talk about kink stuff on this account
< soobnauce> my general rule of thumb is I won't make fun of it if it's appealing to me
< soobnauce> except for bondage, which is always good
<Tetsunora> I found out earlier today...
<Tetsunora> The Netherlands currently has the tallest people
<@CO2> ah yes
<Tetsunora> 184 average for men.
<Tetsunora> Wow.
<@CO2> it's because most of the country is under sea level
<Tetsunora> ...
<@CO2> this way our nose will be above the water if the dam breaks
<Tetsunora> I find "youtubers" under my shoes sometimes.
<Tetsunora> Invasive nasty species.
<nobody> i threw a pokeball at my boss today
<nobody> it didn't work
<Bucket> Of course it didn't. Now, go use a nuke.
<Eighty> bucket: time is just a window someone forgot to close
<Bucket> Eighty: Your mom is just a window someone forgot to close!
<Eighty> cool
<Bucket> Making Factoids is easy.
<Eighty> feeling very attacked right now, bucket
<Vulpes> why is me describing people as crypto-fascist the point where they *start* to want debating politics with me - surely if I am doing that it is a good indication that I would not be inclined to do so
<Eighty> the "crypto-" makes them think they haven't been clear enough about their beliefs
<Eighty> oh i see there's been a misunderstanding. you see i'm actually just a normal fascist
<Agafnd> huh, i have this power strip that the red light on the switch appears to be dying on ...
<Agafnd> the green 'protected' light is still on though
<Skyblaze> Agafnd, I've had a few surge protector strips where the light signifying protection died before the protecc circuits did
<Agafnd> Skyblaze: how do you tell though?
<Skyblaze> Agafnd, constant vigilance!
* Skyblaze pops out of Agafnd's surge protector and bops them in the head
* Agafnd promotes Skyblaze to Lieutenant Surge
-- Skyblaze is now known as Lieutenant
-- Lieutenant is now known as Lieutenant_Surge
<Lieutenant_Surge> Oi oi, what's going on here?
<Lieutenant_Surge> I smell a case of battery
<nobody> oh those are my quaruple As
<nobody> +d
<Lieutenant_Surge> nobody, STOP RESISTING
<Bucket> https://i.imgur.com/Yucpofg.jpg
<Agafnd> haha good reaction, bucket
<nobody> ow
<Agafnd> shockingly good
<Lieutenant_Surge> Well, I see at least Agafnd has the capacity for humour
<Lieutenant_Surge> I hope joule'll all take notes
<Lieutenant_Surge> Do bear in mind y'all in the jurisdiction of a circuit court
<nobody> that was en lightning
<Lieutenant_Surge> nobody, watt was that?
<Agafnd> it does spark the imagination
<Lieutenant_Surge> ohm my god, other punners!
<Lieutenant_Surge> I see people have lepton the opportunity ;)
<Lieutenant_Surge> Perhaps you won't be charged in the end
<Agafnd> it's all your volt!
<Lieutenant_Surge> Wire you blaming this on me?!
<Agafnd> it's your downfall arc
<Lieutenant_Surge> Perhaps. Maybe I'll dodge that in-ducts though
<Agafnd> oh - i ampere-ing at this document which says you're innocent
<Lieutenant_Surge> Sounds like an impedance to my master-plan
<Agafnd> what are the mains components of this plan
<Lieutenant_Surge> Oh, I have a fuse ideas
<Lieutenant_Surge> They're... Down to Earth.
<Eighty> this conversation makes me want to diode
<Lieutenant_Surge> And with a third contender we're in A-Stable situation!
<Agafnd> will you be building from the ground up?
<Agafnd> do you have a three-pronged approach?
<Lieutenant_Surge> I don't think my approach will phase you
<gargleblaster> can't say im all that pleased with the current of this conversation
<gargleblaster> there's great potential for harm
<gargleblaster> it's polarizing
* Skyblaze gives Bucket a Bucket containing Bucket
* Bucket hands Skyblaze a bigger bucket in exchange for a Bucket containing Bucket
<Ferris> i got a bunch of letters about how Pete Cowden was going to ruin the planet with his socialist policies if he were elected as indiana state senator
<Ferris> so i went ahead and voted for him
<alizarin> I wonder what month is month 69
<alizarin> For me I think that would be July 2000
<alizarin> I haven't been away from home for any notable period of time since March, 69 nice jokes are the one thing still binding my psyche together
<@Kalium> some??? people make 69 nice jokes??? to cope????
<alizarin> Kalium: bingo
<alizarin> You would think the dexamphetamine, bicalutamide, and estradiol valerate would be handling that, but no
<bassgoon> ok I have one more thing to say about US politics for the day and then I'm done:
<bassgoon> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
< Iykury> :q
< Iykury> wait shit
< Iykury> that's not how you quit tmux
< taixzo> #xkcd Is Not Vim
<tonyb486> spent 10 minutes looking for a document in my house
<tonyb486> and it turns out it was in my filing cabinet, in a folder, filled with other related documents, properly labeled, etc.
<tonyb486> honestly the last place I expect to find something
<@tonyb486> poop
<@tonyb486> oop
<@tonyb486> op
<@tonyb486> p
<@tonyb486> po
<@tonyb486> poo
<@tonyb486> poop
<@tonyb486> poo
<@tonyb486> po
<@tonyb486> p
<@tonyb486> op
<@tonyb486> oop
<@tonyb486> poop
<@tonyb486> thank you all for coming to my ted talk
<@Kalium> hmm, drag force is ½ density * relative velocity² * the drag coefficient of your cube (easy to fine) * area of the face
<@Kalium> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drag_equation < according to the Drag Equation
<@Kalium> not to be confused with The Drag Equation, a show where I find and destroy Ru Paul to restore balance to the universe
<BytesAndCoffee> if it bites you and you die, its venomous. if you bite it and you die, its poisonous
<BytesAndCoffee> if you bite it and it dies, that means you're venomous
<IceKarma> oracle989, I have/had patellofemoral arthralgia in both knees -- I killed my left knee through *over*use, and my right knee through *under*use
<taixzo> were you, like, hopping on one leg or something?
<soobnauce> do you know that joke about the pianist?
<Bucket> No, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it
<soobnauce> yes, that one
<@airtank> i wonder if jersey mike's is open on sunday
<@Kalium> airtank: that is the most American possible restaurant name
<Skyblaze> Alright: Suggested rules for a Muppet Treasure Island drinking game?
<Skyblaze> All I have so far, is drink when Tim Curry does a hearty laugh
<Skyblaze> And chug during Cabin Fever to your heart's content
<JoAnneThrax> How about, whenever a muppet appears, you do a line of cocaine.
<JoAnneThrax> ?
<@Charlie> i don't even need context for this. that's the best suggestion i've read all day
<Vulpes> what you really want to use is reverse RPN
<BytesAndCoffee> nah, reverse infix is where its at
<Vulpes> ...on both sides?
<Kalium> outfix notation
<Kalium> oops! all brackets!
<soobnauce> love it when I run out of cheese at exactly the same time I run out of crackers
<soobnauce> it's like a message from god himself saying good job, you did it
<Bucket> xkcd forums is http://forums.xkcd.com
<Charlie> not anymore
<Bucket> At least not since the accident.
<\documentclass[48pt]{troll}> You can set your nicks to full LaTeX directives!