<CO2> multiplexd: here, sort these IP packets
* CO2 throws them on your desk
* multiplexd takes out their Pentium V-encrusted Hammer of Routing, flips it to IPv6 mode and starts hammering away at the unsuspecting IP packets
<Bren64zz> multiplexd: lol, that bit with the IP-sorting hammer
<multiplexd> Bren64zz: you haven't seen the Unholy Searchlight of Network Scanning yet
<Bren64zz> The what?
<multiplexd> Bren64zz: it has +3 scanning precision against Unix boxes but -2 against Windows machines
<CO2> quantum mechanics and relativity still can't play nice
<CO2> keep causing fights on the playground
<CO2> " On Tuesday, August 8, smart locks manufacturer LockState botched an over-the-air firmware update for its WiFi enabled smart locks, causing the devices to lose connectivity to the vendor's servers and the ability to open doors for its users."
<CO2> ... vendor lock-in, amirite?
<Epi> this morning felt so sick, as if i had a hangover but it was just a fever. 37.8 now i'm shivering and cold, fever must have gotten worse?! 35.3c am I dead or something
<Velociraptors> Epi: that's what it felt like when I was bit by a redneck
<Velociraptors> hahah autofingers. redback
* multiplexd rolls their eyes at jamesl
* jamesl demultiplexes multiplexd
<jamesl> multiplexd is now d
*N* multiplexd now known as d
<d> to be fair, that nick is the result of spending too much time in front of the ffmpeg and mplayer man pages
<tonyb486> d: I always thought you were some kind of daemon for multiplexing
<tonyb486> systemctl start multiplexd
<d> tonyb486: i'm against systemd, you'll have to do better than that! ;)
<tonyb486> /etc/init.d/multiplexd start
*N* d is now known as multiplexd
< seth> wow I just heard george romero died
< seth> rip zombies
< rainy> that's not how zombies work
<jamesl> also CO2 would be produced in our mouth if it's a carbonate
--> CO2 (CO2@hide-8A9ABAB4.cm-5-1b.dynamic.ziggo.nl) has joined #xkcd
<Kalium> So you'd likely end up with a potassium salt and a /lot/ of CO2
<hppavilion1> jamesl: ISIS is *really* annoying/hilarious due to all the acronym collisions.
<jamesl> most companies have changed names now though
<hppavilion1> jamesl: Yeah, but they can't rewrite history.
<hppavilion1> They lack the privileges in the git repository for Civilization to do so.
<Bucket> </Denis Leary>
<Telo> So it turns out I can'
<Bucket> [You hear some noises in the distance.]
<Telo> Can't type
<Telo> It turns out I can't connect from the Hackspace because there are too many connections from this IP
<Telo> To which I say HELLO EVERYBODY ELSE IN LONDON HACKSPACE
<Telo> It's me with the grumpy-ass face
<Bucket> It's me with the grumpy ass-face
<Telo> ...I walked into that.
<Kalium> ugh so I needed motivation
<Kalium> so I ran a scripts I called "rainbow" which is just fortune|cowsay|lolcat
<Kalium> and as I went to push enter, the emergency door near me started SCREAMING because someone opened it
<Kalium> so I jump out of my seat and so on, very ungraceful
<Kalium> I look back at my output, and it has that dumb friggin rainbow cow saying "you will be surprised by a loud noise."
< Bucket> zigdon has one of the best names for anagrams
< taixzo> Bucket: zigdon anagrams
< Bucket> ¯\(°_o)/¯
< taixzo> aww
< taixzo> after thinking it over for a minute, zigdon has one of the worst names for anagrams
< Salamanca> we're literally arguing semantics, oh my
< tonyb486> anti-semantic bastards
<@barometz> nothing wrong with discussing semantics
<@barometz> deciding what we mean by words is sometimes useful
<@barometz> e.g. when you later wish to use those words
<hppavilion1> I just had an idea
<hppavilion1> Form a political party called "The Obstructionist Party", the only purpose of which is to stall government as much as possible; in places where the main issue with government is that one party has too much power, the Obstructionist Party aims to gain *just* enough seats so that nobody has a majority, thus forcing the major parties to cooperate to get anything done (obviously, here in 'murica, that doesn't help since Republicans can't get
<hppavilion1> anything done even when they have control of the House, Senate, and other House)
<hppavilion1> So it only works when your government is competent
<trees> you got my vote
<trees> in canada there was the rhinocerous party
<trees> the leader changed his legal name to satan
<jamesl> I could use a regex!
<GreenWolf> I could use a regex to find all the problems that I've had that started from "I could use a regex"
<Inari> I always wondered if you could get wasps to relocate (out of e.g. a roof) by placing a subwoofer on the inside facing the ceiling and having it vibrate them 24/7
<Kalium> Inari: I feel like that might work, but you run the risk of having wasps eat your subwoofer if they're particularly angry and dedicated
* Inari sends subwoofer back to seller with warranty claim
<Kalium> 3/10 good sounds, not wasp proof
<Church> Sup folks
<BytesAndCoffee> Church: do you program?
<BytesAndCoffee> more functional or more imperative?
<BytesAndCoffee> Church: deplorable, church and state should never mix!
<Church> Oh god. It clicked.
<Church> Fuck you.
<Church> That joke has layers... >_>
<Elision> chgrp cdrom /bin/gzip
<Elision> wrong window
* barometz headtilt at that chgrp
<barometz> what on this beautiful terrible earth are you doing
<IceKarma> barometz, that is a very good question
<IceKarma> Elision, well?
<Elision> (this is my version of the "most disturbing checkout items" game)
* rabe__ files a patent on oxidation processes
* taixzo files a patent on reduction reactions and challenges rabe__ in patent court
* jamesl patents redox reactions
<rabe__> we could just split the money?
* rabe__ sues jamesl for patent infringement
* tonyb486 patents a method comprising the steps of patenting an unpatentable thing, and sues everyone in the room
<CO2> PoptartMechanic: how does one mechanic a poptart?
<PoptartMechanic> well, it depends on the make and model
<PoptartMechanic> Because what's under the hood can vary
<PoptartMechanic> I mean, the S'mores poptart is very different from the strawberry Great Value toaster pastry
<Branes> The what poptart?
<PoptartMechanic> Branes: the S'mores flavored poptart
<Branes> No idea what that might be. Poptarts were taken off the market here some years ago.
<PoptartMechanic> that's a shame
<PoptartMechanic> Poptarts are the most delicious method of land transportation
<@barometz> nine out of nine nyans recommend it
<PoptartMechanic> I'm also a licensed toast aviator
<Branes> I'm more of a crumpet kind of guy.
<Bucket> taixzosnack is lemon cookies
<PoptartMechanic> lemon cookies. also a great travel method
<PoptartMechanic> but less reliable
<CO2> PoptartMechanic: do you use top parts for your pop tarts?
<PoptartMechanic> yes, yes I do
<hppavilion1> Is it possible to be Retcondescending?
<PoptartMechanic> hppavilion1: maybe.
<hppavilion1> PoptartMechanic: Huh? What are you talking about?
<hppavilion1> PoptartMechanic: I didn't say anything
<PoptartMechanic> you most certainly did
<hppavilion1> PoptartMechanic: No, I didn't. In the old issues I said something, but they removed that from the story.
<hppavilion1> PoptartMechanic: OBVIOUSLY.
<PoptartMechanic> see? even Bucket agrees! This isn't canon!
<+kzkt> Tricking other users to say something that gets them muted is like a new kind of game :P
-moderator/#xkcd-signal- Agafnd, you have been muted for 4 seconds.
<FLHerne> CO2: Even has its own wiki list https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Snaefell_Mountain_Course_fatalities
<CO2> you know, I'm someone who doesn't seek dangerous stuff for fun - so I would think that the more sane motorbike racers would skip that one race. Which makes me think there's some sort of pressure from the community to take part because it's "cool" and "everyone does it" or something
<FLHerne> CO2: It's the oldest race that still exists, and almost certainly the most famous
<FLHerne> CO2: Of course, it's largely famous for killing people
<CO2> FLHerne: if I wanted to be pedantic I'd point out there's more famous races that don't involve motorbikes
<FLHerne> Older ones, too
<barometz> The oldest were the Elves.
<CO2> new D&D character class: Biker Elf
<Kalium> Building something in stock KSP for the first time in ages and it's a lot harder
<Kalium> I'm so used to having ship data on screen to help me decide if this will work
<Kalium> plus I realise now I forgot batteries on this lander stage
<Kalium> well, this is gonna be a REALLY short moon landing
<@barometz> "Ground control, please repeat last message?" "Oh nothing, nothing at all."
<Oracle989> Could we treat prion diseases by introducing another, more-stable form of the protein if we found one that still worked?
<barometz> let's not underplay the potential effects of a butterfly not flapp---*chokes*
<Oracle989> barometz, Yeah, but as things go, this is pretty much the cleanest species kill we'll get
<Oracle989> Except that time we nearly got rid of smallpox
<Oracle989> Then got all sentimental about it
<nobody> Bucket: literal[*] nobody quotes
<Bucket> nobody: Here's the full list (16): http://carabiner.peeron.com/xkcd/bucket/literal_nobody%20quotes.txt
<Kalium> nobody: why are half your posts about butthole damage
<Kalium> I have concerns
<nobody> i had butthole surgery
<nobody> its... something you don't forget about easily
<nobody> did you want to see the picture?
<Corynne> What happened?
<Bucket> Twelve gazelles, nine cats, a vial of herpes simplex, and a clown car. Don't ask...
<Velociraptors> I have a Puerto sticker on my printer at work.
<Velociraptors> it's the Puerto Ricoh
< jamesl> There should be a word for when you Google an error and the only result is the program's source code on Github
< grawity> "undocumented"
< jamesl> grawity, or if it's your own code, "self-documenting"
< Bucket> relsqui sleeps with a pillow under their pillow in case of a surprise pillowfight.
< eezo> hahaha
< eezo> surprise pillowfight :D
* relsqui SUDDENLY HITS EEZO WITH A PILLOW
< eezo> eep!
* eezo falls over
<@relsqui> eezo: constant vigilance.
< arble> I have one too but I need to actually grep for it
* grep is here to serve.
* tonyb486 pipes a lot of data through grep
* grep works very, very hard.
* taixzo is now picturing a linux console where the various commands become sentient and try to convince you to use them
< arble> have you tried GREP, John Anderton?
< grep> taixzo: Pick me! Pick me! I'm a good utility!
< tonyb486> are you BSD grep or GNU grep
< arble> but I need to copy files, not filter text
< tonyb486> or busybox or whatever the hell comes with solaris
< arble> convince me
* moony is now picturing a linux console where the various commands become sentient and try to convince you to use them as well
< taixzo> grep: but awk would be so much better for this task...
< grep> tonyb486: Why are you so eager to see my innards? I like being kept in one piece!
* moony doesnt use any of them, and writes everything he needs in Rust instead
< grep> taixzo: But... but... I'm good... at... finding... *sniffle*
* tonyb486 concludes that grep is actually cygwin gnu grep
* taixzo finally relents, runs <command> | grep ".*" | awk...
< grep> Wheeee!
< Vulpes> pretty sure that this actually exists as a harem anime
-!- moony is now known as mkfs
< tonyb486> cat /dev/urandom | grep '.' > /dev/null
< mkfs> :>
< taixzo> mkfs: that looks like a very evil smile
< mkfs> it just exploded
< mkfs> taixzo, I promise i wont make you have to run fsck /dev/sda6
< grep> taixzo: If you stop using me, then... then... you'll be saying I'm not a good command... You'll be using ack or ag. :(
< taixzo> grep: it's not you, it's me! I...have carpal tunnel...and ag is a shorter name...
* grep looks around feverishly...
< grep> W-what about... alias g=grep
< dd> You could just use dd. I can do things!
* mkfs cleans up dd's mess
* dd if=/dev/urandom of=`which mkfs`
-!- mkfs is now known as fsck
* fsck throws errors
-!- bassgoon is now known as du
* du -h . --max-depth=1
< taixzo> dd: but cp is so much more...unixy!
* dd if=`which grep` of=`which taixzo`
< dd> Bwahahahahaha!
-!- taixzo is now known as _bin_grep
-!- du is now known as ls
* ls |grep fsck
* grep wonders if grep registered grep.
-!- DHeadshot is now known as ed
-!- fsck is now known as dpkg
< ed> Why use grep? I can do a lot more!
< _bin_grep> Oh no, the commands have captured me! I am no longer a user!
< ls> lol
< ls> I prefer the ll alias myself...
< grep> ed: N-no... noo.... noooo.
< dd> Why use dpkg when you can just use me to overwrite your hard disk with a prepared image containing the packages you would like installed!
< ls> ed, what about red
< grep> /nick butterfly
< dpkg> dd, because what if they want to keep something from that disk. You can make a huge mess
< dpkg> ed, have you considered emacs being better?
* ed is a harder to use variant of edlin
< dd> Make a backup with me first!
-!- _bin_grep is now known as sudo
< dd> #problemsolved
< sudo> Ok, listen up dd, dpkg, and all you lot, you report to me now!
< ed> emacs is harder to run non-interactively. I can do both!
* dpkg implodes
-!- dpkg is now known as su
< su> sudo, :)
-!- dd is now known as chmod
< sudo> ...crap
-!- SpicyLemon is now known as chown
* chmod -s `which sudo`
-!- ls is now known as runlevel
< chown> Moooooooom! Rick's trying to steal all my stuff!
< chmod> It's okay, you just need to use me to set permissions!
-!- ed is now known as man
* su -c "dpkg --remove sudo"
< runlevel> lol
-!- Vulpes is now known as kill
-!- chown is now known as less
< chmod> It's okay I already removed his setuid bit. He's useless now, su.
* man doesn't understand runlevel
< less> Let me show you something!
-!- sudo is now known as taixzo
< runlevel> man, you can't do anything without me
< kill> -9 taixzo
< kill> betrayal!
< taixzo> aha! su rescued me!
< chmod> guys I forgot who I was initially
-!- CO2 is now known as git
* man is harder to use than info
* git pull
-!- man is now known as info
-!- systemd is now known as systemctl
* git clone taixzo
< systemctl> Fear me
* Bucket cowers
* chmod -x `which systemctl`
* info systemctl
< grep> That's the right response, Bucket.
* systemctl blocks chmod
-!- info is now known as rm
< taixzo> oh no
* rm -rf *
-!- runlevel is now known as init
* chmod kfjhsdkjfhasdkfhbsadv
* systemctl implodes
< init> master and commander
-!- rm is now known as nohup
* nohup sudo rm -rf /
* Bucket dissolves.
-!- init is now known as systemd
< systemd> but now I'm better than init
-!- systemctl is now known as shutdown
-!- nohup is now known as fireaxe
* fireaxe breaks machine anyway
* shutdown -P 0
< systemd> shutdown, I already covered init and runlevel...you're hardly needed
< shutdown> orly
-!- shutdown is now known as kernel
* kernel implodes systemd
< kernel> wow, our hour is already over?
< kernel> that devolved fast
< diog> well, can't do much after kernel implodes
<@relsqui> "However, lambda serialization is supported only when all values captured by the lambda are serializable." geeze that seems fair
<@relsqui> I'm not asking for magic
<@Shrdlu> you know, I've been trying for years to get lambda serialization working
* Shrdlu gestures helplessly at an enormous pile of code
<@Shrdlu> maybe someday I'll get some closure out of all this
<@ephphatha> i must admit i'm in a "delay coding till tomorrow" mood anyway, I've gotta break the permission system for the app I'm working on to rebuild the schema with proper identifiers which is gonna make it unusable for everyone until I get it finished...
<@ephphatha> not looking forward to that
<@relsqui> what's the app?
< Bucket> app is down right now
<TonyPaws> What is a netsplit?
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<pikhq> TonyPaws: That.
<@relsqui> the way I use bookmarks is pathological
<@relsqui> I hit ctrl-d when I want to save a url to make sure I can find it again later
<@relsqui> and that is the end of the process
<@relsqui> I have no other interaction with bookmarks
<@relsqui> if I want to find a site again I search for it
<@Shrdlu> you know, if that's a common behavior certain optimizations could be made
<Buckley> i lead a very dangerous life
<Buckley> like here's an example
<Buckley> i use q tips to clean my ear canal
< CO2> shit
< CO2> I have a problem
< CO2> the docs for java System.nanoTime() say that because of overflow, the value is inaccurate if you call it on the same process twice, more than 292 years apart.
<@relsqui> CO2: ...
< CO2> I was planning to run my program for 293 years >_<
<Vulpes> Bucket, go away <action> pokes billygoat
<+Bucket> Okay, Vulpes.
* billygoat sets mode: +b *!Vulpes@*.E8D5B2F1.70BCBC92.IP
* Vulpes was kicked by billygoat (Goat-ed)
<+Bucket> Penalty, Vulpes, unsportsmanlike conduct!
< CO2> the good thing about global warming is that Great Reptiles and human sized insects may evolve again.
-!- Velociraptor [Dana@hide-EF50C6D0.bras1.syd7.internode.on.net] has joined #xkcd
< Oracle989> But a little lead isn't so bad for adults
< Oracle989> At low velocity
< Oracle989> (settle down, police departments)
< Oracle989> In fact, a very low concentration of lead may be essential to life!
< Oracle989> "Despite the toxicity of lead in significant amounts, there is some evidence that trace amounts are beneficial in pigs and rats, and that its absence causes deficiencies such as depressed growth, anemia, and disturbed iron metabolism. If this finding holds for humans, it would make lead an essential element, one with a threshold of toxicity so low that lead toxicity would remain a much higher priority than lead deficiency."
< Oracle989> A little radiation might be good for you.
< Oracle989> We actually don't know what low dose radiation does to the body
< Oracle989> Might hurt, might help, might not do anything
< Oracle989> The data is conflicting
* Oracle989 realizes he just said lead and radiation are both good for you
23:48:25 * Oracle989 applies to work at Trump's EPA
23:48:25 < IronAngel> you could be the health director for the US
<@bk> owls let the dogs out?
<@sheepbat> who who who who
<jamesl> if I look at my laptop screen angled downwards it looks blue. If I look at it angled upwards it looks red. Why is this?
<jamesl> it only recently started
<Kalium> jamesl: are you closing and opening it at a really, really high speed?
<GreenWolf> pikhq: what are the differences between fly ash and volcanic ash that cause the difference in material properties?
<CheshireCat_> flys vs. volcanos obviously
<Bucket> I think I hear my mother calling me.
<kazitor> Bucket: you have no mother
* Bucket makes a show of patting his pockets, then shrugs helplessly
<kazitor> Bucket: you are adopted
<Bucket> Okay, kazitor.
<seven> I remember at one housemate interview, 3 of us already lived in a 4 bedroom place, and we were trying to find a good fit, 2 german creatives and me, also a creative, in Sydney, we had a super blokey kinda judgemental guy arrive and it felt like the wrong fit, the girls were giving me signals, so while they talked to him I went in to Swantje's room and found her fingerless forearm length red
<seven> gloves, put them on, came back down and offered him a drink
<seven> putting on my most camp of camp acts
<seven> and within minutes he said he had another place at which he was going to live and left
<seven> and we all had a good frkn laugh
<seven> I gayed him away :D
< pikhq> Michigan has an inflation-indexed minimum wage...
< pikhq> With a cap.
< pikhq> Inflation will not go up more than 3.5% nor will it go up if unemployment is over 8.5% at any point in the previous year.
< pikhq> Erm, minimum wage will not ...
< Lisimba> pikhq: because if there is unemployment obviously the solution is to pay people relatively less?
< Lisimba> How does that work?
< Bucket> Poorly!
< Lisimba> Well, apart from that.
< cnf> nice choice of words Bucket :P
<PoptartMechanic> I've always figured that Peach and Bowser have a relationship and that Mario just keeps trying to break them up
<PoptartMechanic> I mean, it's all a little too convenient that she gets captured over and over
<Tattoo> the only problem with that is the clear depiction of peach not wanting to be with bowser and being really glad that mario is coming
<PoptartMechanic> Tattoo: hey, she might just have a kidnapping fetish
<Tattoo> PoptartMechanic: except for the fact she's really glad when she's rescued
<PoptartMechanic> that could be a part of the fetish ;)
<alexxerth> Maybe the fetish is between her and mario, and bowser legitimately keeps stealing her, but the reason he is able to do so so often is that she just lets him
<Tattoo> fetishes don't really work that way
<alexxerth> because she wants to get stolen, that way mario can rescue her
<hppavilion1> Tattoo: I think that Mario doesn't know about the relationship
<alexxerth> if she never gets stolen then mario can't rescue her
<hppavilion1> Tattoo: She keeps saying "Ooooh... yay... thank GOD you rescued me"
<Tattoo> that goes against what is shown in the games, though
<hppavilion1> "Thanks for saving me from Bowser, I DEFINITELY wasn't enjoying myself"
<tanuki> "I certainly wasn't baking him a... cake."
<hppavilion1> "Oh, that Sybian with the leather straps I was moaning on when you showed up? Yeah... just... uh... ignore that. It was nothing."
<Tattoo> and peach doesen't to me seem like a person who would -- despite having a fetish or not -- be okay with the fact that vast swaths of sentient beings die because of this activity
<Tattoo> because mario kills /a lot/ to get to her
<Hobz> That got real kinky real quick
<Hobz> Not that there's anything wrong with that
<hppavilion1> Hobz: Thank you!
<hppavilion1> Hobz: "Um, yeah, don't go in that room... What? That doesn't sound like Rosalina at all!"
<hppavilion1> "I'm sure that that motor sound is just Bowser's... washing machine"
<alexxerth> how do luigi and daisy fit into all of this
<alexxerth> or for that matter wario and waluigi
<PoptartMechanic> luigi is just the second string to Mario's fiddle
<PoptartMechanic> kind of just there
<PoptartMechanic> though I'm sure, if there really IS a thing between Peach and the Mario Bros, they have pretty awesome threesomes
<alexxerth> ohh, actually wario lives in a legitimate urban center come to think of it.
<hppavilion1> alexxerth: Luigi is a Cuck, Daisy has gangbangs on a monthly basis, and Samus is Wario and Waluigi's mistress.
<alexxerth> what the fuck has this conversation turned into
<hppavilion1> alexxerth: ...fanfiction?
* hppavilion1 is unsure
<PoptartMechanic> my statement is only a hypothetical. After all, my assertion is that we only percieve the world as seen by a man addicted to shrooms, running around sewers collecting coins
<hppavilion1> Let's imagine a programming language with TIME TRAVEL
<hppavilion1> Specifically, let's say that you can use a function time.sleep(n)
<hppavilion1> Where n is a time to delay before continuing execution (in seconds)
<alexxerth> 2017 goto 1938
<hppavilion1> Which seems pretty standard and non-scifi, except that n can be negative.
<Tattoo> no need to imagine. all programming languages have time travel. only to one direction, though
<hppavilion1> Tattoo: Except Haskell.
<Tattoo> hppavilion1: what?
<hppavilion1> Tattoo: Haskell doesn't have time travel in either direction, ideally.
< CheshireCat> tractor pulling is a crazy-ass sport: https://youtu.be/bFzd5Wl3Bxk?t=262
< Bucket> tractor pulling is a crazy ass-sport: https://youtu.be/bFzd5Wl3Bxk?t=262
* taixzo imagines someone pulling a tractor with a chain on a buttplug
< CheshireCat> holy shit the tractor at 6:15 has dual turbochargers XD
< mrkman> taixzo: if you build it they will come
<@mewyn> Welp, good bye filibuster.
< Oracle989> mewyn, Is it official?
< taixzo> mrkman: i see what you did ther
< taixzo> e
<@mewyn> Oracle989: No, but the assholes are going to pull it.
< Oracle989> Hopefully 3 Republicans will realize how badly going nuclear backfired on the Democrats.
<@mewyn> It's all a pissing match now.
<@mewyn> They don't give a shit.
< alSeen> they chose the wrong one to make a stand on
< CheshireCat> "the assholes are going to pull it"
< CheshireCat> works for both convos happening right now
< alexxerth> I just heard the most insane story
< alexxerth> So there was this guy, he ran away when he was 16 to join monks in Rhode Island
< alexxerth> he stayed there for a few years before running away again to join the army in 1941
< alexxerth> But he didn't like the army, so he left, but since he was AWOL, he stole somebody's name, a buddy of his from the army, and tried to become a monk again. Then ran away again. Then tried to become a monk again. Then ran away again and joined the Navy, but faked suicide and stole somebody else's name.
< alexxerth> He became a professor of psychology, where he survived by reading a chapter ahead of the book he was teaching
< alexxerth> He then ran away again, worked at a sanitarium, ran away *again* and taught psychology again
< alexxerth> Then he was caught by the FBI, who threw him in a Disciplinary Barracks for 18 months for going AWOL, and then he was out, tried to become a monk again while also studying law at night
< permagreen> I had a feeling he would become a lawyer at some point in this story
< alexxerth> Then he ran away again
< alexxerth> He went to Canada this time, joined the Navy as a trama surgeon on a ship during the korean war
< alexxerth> *A fucking surgeon* with zero knowledge of surgery
< alexxerth> He makes it okay by improvising, no big issues....until sixteen combat casualties were loaded on to the boat, and he was the only surgeon on the boat
< alexxerth> One of them had been shot really close to the heart too
< nobody> fake it till you make it
< alexxerth> He ordered them prepped for surgery, and then ran away to his room to read a textbook on general surgery, and sped-read the parts on the surgeries he needed to do
< alexxerth> He saved all sixteen of them
< alexxerth> including the one with a bullet lodged near his heart
< The0x539> and did all sixteen of them become monks?
< nobody> wat
< nobody> dang
< alexxerth> He cut the ribs, bent them, removed the bullet, and put in coagulant gel
< alexxerth> His mantra here being "The fewer cuts you make, the less you have to patch up", which for a fake-surgeon I guess is good
< taixzo> man, he's a fast learner
< alexxerth> Anyways though, this was such an amazing event that it got put in the ship dispatches, which was a huge honor...but also gave him some unwanted publicity
< alexxerth> He couldn't exactly turn it down without being suspicious, so he let it go
< alexxerth> But then the mother of the person who's name he stole found out, and her real son was working in Canada still, so he contacted the authorities and they ordered him to be returned to Canada
< alexxerth> So the Captain of this boat just saw a man save sixteen people, some of who were on the verge of death, and he gets an order saying "That man's not a surgeon"
< alexxerth> of course he ignores it at first, but eventually he has to cave to the order and sends him to Canada
< alexxerth> But because he saved sixteen people, the canadian navy chose not to press charges, and all Canada did was just send him back to the US
< alexxerth> With his salary for the time worked.
< alexxerth> oh, also, he was born in 1921
< alexxerth> So this was *all* by the time he was about *30*
< alexxerth> In the US, he kept stealing names and doing random things, he became a monk again, he founded a fucking religion college that is now Walsh University, still exists
< permagreen> Dang, I haven't saved anyone in a surgery I am grossly underqualified for. I am so unaccomplished.
< alexxerth> In total, he was a ship surgeon, civil engineer, sheriff's deputy, deputy warden, a doctor of applied psychology, a hospital orderly, a lawyer, a teacher, a child-care 'expert', several different monks, an editor, and a cancer researcher
<Bucket> relsqui is jumping their motorcycle over a postcard of Snake River Canyon.
<@relsqui> I'll suggest that to my roommate, who just bought one
<Agafnd> relsqui: this calls for photo manipulation
<relsqui> Agafnd: good luck with that
<Agafnd> relsqui: https://i.imgur.com/mrtbEVq.png
<murakh> people in this chan certainly are painting a bright picture of NL
<permagreen> Well, I mean who doesn't love Northern Lincolnshire?
<tonyb486> I thought we liked the National League?