Smile )XKCDB


* Cortana tries to decide what game to play
<tbo> tretis
<asarkar> Is that a game I haven't heard of, or a catastrophic typo?
<tbo> tetris
<+jcx> Yeah, I highly recommend playing the original fallouts as an idiot.
<Xenos> jcx: I play *all* my games as an idiot
<Bucket> Spork is engaged to DHeadshot.
<DHeadshot> WTF bucket?!
<Bucket> wtf yourself DHeadshot!
<DHeadshot> Who added that?!
<Bucket> I did.
<DHeadshot> I don't think Spork was still around when I joined even!
<XanT> If a star can fit in the space the diameter of a small city, then you should be able to fit a KFC restaurant in to an envelope.
< Aris> every bit's a bit
< Cortana> and every eight bits are a byte
< Aris> Cortana: and four bits are a nibble
< Cortana> and NIBBLE.BAS is a game
@Kalium: maturity is knowing you were a dipshit in the past, wisdom is knowing you will be a dipshit in the future, and common sense is doing your best not to be a dipshit now
...
LittleBit: @Kalium: that should be called the Existential Prayer
<Ferris> not mine https://i.redd.it/6emw0qlcb3151.png
<@Kalium> that's a lot of pitchers
<@Kalium> or are those lillies
<Ferris> pitchers
<@Kalium> and you know what they say
<@Kalium> pitcher's worth a thousand words
<Ferris> mmhm
<Ferris> *so many words*
* tonyb486 puts a pitcher of words in bucket
* Bucket drops visine and takes a pitcher of words.
<thana> oh thats good
<thana> I thought bucket was dropping visine into the pitcher of words
<thana> that'll make someone word vomit
<@Kalium> I tried dropping visine one time and it just made me ill
<@Kalium> stick to acid
<Xenos> Never underestimate the bandwidth of a starship full of crystal data storage hurtling down the hyperlanes
<@Kalium> hmm, "radio transmissions can't go through hyperspace but ships full of data can" is certainly a good framing for a sci-fi adventure
<@Kalium> that's basically the opposite of Ender's Game
<Agafnd> it's like the opposite of an ansible
* Agafnd hifives Kalium
* Kalium hi-five's Agafnd
<@Kalium> god DAMMIT
<Agafnd> :D
<Xenos> tonyb486: Hide this!
* Bucket stuffs a judges wig down tonyb486's pants and whistles innocently.
Xenos waits for tonyb486 to pull out his penis at the next trial and declare "This is the judge now!"
<tonyb486> Nah, can't use that move more than twice
<XanT> Hmm, trying to think of what I can use my pigscuit barrel for. I dont have enough biscuits to necessitate a barrel, and Im not sure what else to do with it.
<XanT> Maybe sweets, though I tend to eat them very rapidly.
<XanT> The problem is, its entirely opaque. If I could see what was in it itd probably be much more useful.
<XanT> Socks! I could use it for socks. I dont care what socks I grab.
<tbo> XanT: what are you talking about?
<Bucket> salted biscuits, of course
<Xenos> flicky: Hide this!
* Bucket stuffs a fleshlight down flicky's pants and whistles innocently.
<flicky> O_O
* Xenos blinks
<Bucket> Is anyone else turned on?
<Telo> Please can somebody explain SpaceMacs
<Telo> It's like they took Vim and Emacs and decided to make them both harder
<BytesAndCoffee> Telo: sounds like the only way to get people from both sides to cooperate
<BytesAndCoffee> or a way to start an actual thermonuclear war between the two factions
<BytesAndCoffee> one or the other
<Telo> BytesAndCoffee: That's apparently their idea, but it just makes everything WORSE
<BytesAndCoffee> Telo: the former? or the latter
<Telo> BytesAndCoffee: Both
<@alice> okay so, take cinnamon toast crunch and instead of milk use chocolate pudding.
<nobody> i want to subscribe to your newsletter please
<DukeCeph> also, oh, I suppose if the week is the sandwich, the weekend would be (for BytesAndCoffee) the _weekbread_
<BytesAndCoffee> DukeCeph: well, who doesn't like getting high on the weekend? if not absolutely /toasted/
<DukeCeph> BytesAndCoffee... your pun is doing more to convince me about the weekbread model than any logical argument ever could
<multi> so the problem there is that timemachine triggers the search/replace or recall actions based on a regex match on each message sent to the channel
<CO2> ah
<multi> yeeup
<multi> real fun stuff like /^[sS]\/((?:\\.|[^\/\\])*)//((?:\\\/|[^\/])*)(?:\/([^\s~]*)((?:~[0-9]+)?))?/
<CO2> oh god my eyes
<CO2> also regexr errors on the //
<multi> oh right
<multi> that was a typo
<multi> give me a moment
<multi> s/\/\/\\\//
<multi> shit
<multi> s/\/\/\//
<multi> s/\/\//\//
<timemachine> <multi*> real fun stuff like /^[sS]\/((?:\\.|[^\/\\])*)/((?:\\\/|[^\/])*)(?:\/([^\s~]*)((?:~[0-9]+)?))?/
<multi> hahahaaha
<multi> s/\/\//\\\//
<timemachine> <multi*> real fun stuff like /^[sS]\/((?:\\.|[^\/\\])*)\/((?:\\\/|[^\/])*)(?:\/([^\s~]*)((?:~[0-9]+)?))?/
<hooloo> Oh great, Krakatoa's erupting again.
<IceKarma> hooloo, ...
<Bucket> [The screams of the dying fill the fetid air.]
<@Kalium> it'd be fun to have a shared SQL database of factoids you and your friends can all populate
<adalovecraft> It would
<Bucket> No it wouldn't.
--> Goku77 (~piopio@cloak-37CE49A1.retail.telecomitalia.it) has joined #xkcd-coding
<Goku77> ciao
<Goku77> !list
<Goku77> ciao
<Goku77> !lista
<Goku77> lista grazie
<@rift> hi Goku77
<-- Goku77 (~piopio@cloak-37CE49A1.retail.telecomitalia.it) has quit (Quit: Goku77)
<@rift> bye Goku77
<@CO2> ...this again
<@CO2> we get these italian folks once every couple months or so
<@CO2> they seem to think this is a 1990s IRC network with a filesharing bot
<@CO2> and you know
<@CO2> if you ask nicely enough Isaac might be willing to loan you his nail file for a bit
<@CO2> but other than that no filesharing is happening here
<Bucket> 1d5 is 3
* Cortana rolls Bucket
<Bucket> Cortana got: blue-footed boobies.
<Cortana> ^_^
* multi rolls dice
* dice gets dizzy
* Cortana rolls multi
<multi> wuah!
<cnf> btw, do your printers turn off the hotend fan when the temps are low?
<cnf> or do all the non-prusas do the creslity thing where that fan is on when it is on power?
<rift> what is a prusa and what is a creslity
<rift> what is a hotend fan
<rift> I have so many questions
<Agafnd> my elbows are distrustful heretofore
<Agafnd> unless a crazy bucket makes them stop
<Agafnd> that rarely ever happens i am sure
<Agafnd> if one did make a film then it would flop
<Agafnd> four fourteenths of a sonnet i just wrote.
<Agafnd> until my wordy hands ran out of steam
<Agafnd> a caucus is a lousy way to vote
<Agafnd> at least that's how the cornland one does seem
<Agafnd> perhaps a water glass would help me think
<Agafnd> extemporizing verse is no big joke
<Agafnd> even if the themes might make you blink
<Agafnd> and cooking beans requires an o'ernight soak
<Agafnd> i don't know what the point of all that was.
<Agafnd> i hope it wasn't just insectoid buzz.
* JoeyLemur finally gets around to reading today's comic, is glad he just names his car with roman numerals. Currently on LemurMobile VIII
<Cortana> I haven't read xkcd in years now probably
<nobody> there's an xkcd comic?
<Jax184> Bucket: are you a furry? <reply> Let's just say you can't spell "Horsemen" without "Semen."
<Bucket> Okay, Jax184.
<Bucket> YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON
<Jax184> well, yeah
<multi> bbiab, going to see star wars
<+tonyb486> spaceeee battlees
<+tonyb486> sky conflict
<+tonyb486> faraway kerfuffle
<Charlie> hopeless situation parliament and presbyterian church
<taixzo> ice is strong in compression, wood fibers are strong in tension
<IceKarma> taixzo, I’d like to think I’m strong in both cases
<taixzo> :P
<Kalium> the ice is strong in compression and the sneps are strong in tension
<Lisimba> IceKarma: don't you always mention how you're not actually ice? :-P
<IceKarma> Lisimba, yes, but I enjoy making those jokes anyway
<Lisimba> fair
<emad> 07:21 < permagreen> If I were a conspiracy theorist, I would be connecting semi-random events together with a haphazard narrative that likely contains racist undertones somehow
<emad> this sounds a lot like a cop too!
<rift> I
<rift> dutch
<rift> just
<rift> dutch
<rift> someone's gonna say something in dutch to me irl and I'm going to nod and laugh before realizing I don't understand a damn thing they said
<Lisimba> rift: that's how we do it too so I don't foresee any problems there.
<@Stereo> it's funny how there are 2 nearly unrelated foods named pretzels, the only commonality is the shape being pretzel
<rift> Stereo: made of wheat
<@Stereo> it's like if 'sandwich' didn't mean anything
<@Stereo> except XYX
<rift> sandwich cookie
<rift> sandwich cracker
<rift> ice cream sandwich
<rift> Stereo: Sandwich doesn't mean anything except XYX.
<@Stereo> yeah it does, oreos are not sandwiches
<rift> they call themselves sandwich cookies
<@Stereo> maybe as an adjective
<@Stereo> not a noun
<rift> Unless your argument is that "sandwich is being combined with other words, therefore it doesn't count"
<@Stereo> mostly my argument is "the oreo company is wrong"
<rift> If I say I'm having a "sandwich", I usually mean something similar to a club sandwich
<rift> If you ask me "is x a sandwich", my answer is usually "yes"
<rift> but if you ask me "what is a sandwich", I'm not going to use hot dog or ICS as an example
<arble> does the Buddha have the sandwich-nature?
<rift> so the word doesn't go both ways
<rift> arble: guts on the inside, skin on the outside? he's a ravioli.
<arble> open at both ends though
<arble> so I contend cannelloni
<rift> ...
<+taixzo> is a sandwich a sandwich
<rift> taixzo: I would say yes, but some people would disagree!
<@Stereo> sandwiches and ravioli are both topological spheres, they don't require a void
<@Stereo> buddha does
<@Stereo> so he's at least also something else, maybe also just not a ravioli
<rift> Stereo: counterpoint: bagelwich
<@Stereo> the buddha may be a cronutwich
<jarmstrong> O.o Colleague just zoomed through here on a wheelie chair whilst eating a salad.
<jarmstrong> I wonder wtf that was about.
<multi> jarmstrong: code compiling?
<jarmstrong> multi: He seemed to zoom with purpose.
<multi> jarmstrong: maybe the build failed
<rik> i learned a thing yesterday. This dude, from The Office: https://imgur.com/gallery/VAaBpei ... he wrote a book for little kids.
<SpaceHobo> huh, I don't remember him from the office
<@Kalium> SpaceHobo: American The Office
<SpaceHobo> Kalium: wait what?
<SpaceHobo> they re-made the office for the US?
<@Kalium> SpaceHobo: yes
<SpaceHobo> did they not know we speak English over here?
<IceKarma> lol. unsurprisingly “object-oriented programming” becomes «programmation orientée objet», or POO for short
<taoistextremist> Shit, I'm gonna do all my development in French now guys
* rift energizes CO2
<CO2> why
<rift> wondering what other energy states you have
<CO2> rift: you're doing a bad job and you should pay more attention when using IRC
<CO2> ...sorry that was my supercritical state
* Xenos opens the Love Auction
<Xenos> Do I hear an initial offer?
<Cortana> Xenos: 20
<Xenos> 20. I hear 20 for love
<Xenos> 20 going once
<Xenos> Going twice...
<ArdaXi> 21
<Cortana> 22
<Xenos> I have 22, 22 for love
<Xenos> Going once
<ArdaXi> 25
<Cortana> 30
<Xenos> 30! We have 30 for love!
<nobody> 35
<Cortana> 40
<Xenos> 40 for love going once
<Xenos> Going twice
<Xenos> Love sold to Cortana for 40
<Cortana> \o/
<CO2> Xenos: jump!
* Xenos dodges
<Xenos> Hah! Missed me
* CO2 throws a duck at Xenos
* Xenos is confused about the timey wimey wibbley wobbly nature of this conversation
<CO2> Xenos: how do you feel about this talk?
* Xenos jumps
<seven> I also learned "Koalas, wombats and Tasmanian devils all share the three-vagina structure. The side ones carry sperm to the two uteruses (and males marsupials often have two-pronged penises), while the middle vagina sends the joey down to the outside world."
<JoeyLemur> ...I don't WANT to go down to the outside world!
<Agafnd> slashnet has a twitter account, TIL
<flicky> It was created today
<flicky> So
<flicky> That's the only time you could have found out
<Agafnd> slashnet has a twitter account, T
<rift> I'm at my computer and I physically can't read the text on my right monitor correctly with my right eye
<flicky> rift: that is because the right eye controls vision on the left and vice versa
* flicky is a superheroine
<rift> flicky: what origin?
<rift> we have technology, science, spiders, magic, mutation, and natural
<flicky> I was born super
<rift> does that make you natural or mutation?
<flicky> Good question
<flicky> On the one hand, being super is my natural state. On the other hand, there's no-one like me so I must have mutated somehow
<rift> "natural" doesn't alwasy mean "there are more like you"
<flicky> True
<rift> "natural" could be "I have a Ph.D in kicking your ass"
<flicky> I have a bachelor's in heroism
<@Stereo> fuckin spiders
<flicky> Fucking spiders is not one of my powers
<flicky> it's just a hobby of mine
<+BytesAndCoffee> you should know by now i don't really watch anime
<rcombs> I've been trying to fix that for years
<Bucket> Science is wrong.
<rcombs> often!
<@ultravic> ultravic is wrong
<@barometz> frequently, with great vigor
<Agafnd> now i think there's a spider hiding in my ethernet port
<Xenos> Agafnd: Duh, that's how you access the web
<rcombs> I'm in ebisu, where you can't shake a stick without running into several restaurants
<rcombs> so the problem isn't lack of selection, it's decision paralysis
<rabe_> pity then. that's what i loved most about china XD
<nobody> go to tower records!
<nobody> is that still there?
<rcombs> nobody: that's in shibuya!
<rabe_> oooh i know!
<rabe_> try to find something with pets! thats a thing in japan!
<rabe_> there are like cafes that have owls
<eezo> there are cafes with <literally anything> in .jp
<rcombs> there _is_ a cat cafe near the station
<eezo> the cat cafe we had here in my city closed like 2 years ago
<rabe_> yeah, but owls specifically are super neat.
<rabe_> objective fact. not biased at all.
<rcombs> not seeing any owl cafes around here
<rabe_> damn^^
<rabe_> might have been a hoot
* rabe_ puts a coin in the terribly-cheap-pun-box
<CO2> hi
<CO2> I'm looking to sell my Delorean
<CO2> it's in good shape
<CO2> low mileage
<CO2> only driven from time to time.
<Stereo> sometimes i get 'bad touch' stuck in my head and start describing everything as "the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket"
<Stereo> cause you can clean most things with that
<Stereo> guacamole. the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
<Stereo> i guess to scan it should be one syllable though. eg. BLOOD.
<Stereo> bread. the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket.
<Lisimba> Butterflies. The kind you clean up with a mop and bucket.
<Charlie> horses. the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
<_qrs> A large-scale nuclear disaster threatening the livelihood of the entire southern part of the country with fallout travelling westwards into Europe, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket.
<Stereo> runs. the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
<Charlie> i will admit that since i've been using sulfuric acid for my pipes, i've started thinking of other things it would be useful for
<Charlie> ...probably not so good with a mop and bucket, however
<+Bucket> yay relsqui is back
<DHeadshot> Are they?
<+Bucket> Not really
<Stereo> so it's one of those "pick a number between 1 and everyone"
<Stereo> cause a 0 person rapture could have already happened
<Stereo> or is constantly happening and it's what sunbeams are
<_qrs> thicctoria: yo you're gay
<+Bucket> "Yo You're Gay" would be a nice name for a band.
<_qrs> It would, Bucket
<+Bucket> Damn straight.
<+loudaslife> even if you're okay with riding on actual roads everywhere, there's often not a good place to lock your bike
<Stereo> i just lock my bike in inappropriate places
<Stereo> really anything that's not a wheelchair ramp seems fair to me
<Stereo> small trees? children? great
<Stereo> noone's gonna escalate bike theft to baby kidnapping
<hppavilion2> So what's Mrs. Claus's job, anyway? We know that she fought Krampus together Santa Claus, both riding dragons
<hppavilion2> But, like, does she have other jobs? Is she just retired? Is she Santa's air traffic control? Does she handle the other hemisphere?
<rift> hppavilion2: battle maiden
<hppavilion2> rift: What does she battle though these days?
<rift> ...
<rift> ...atheists.
<Bucket> buttload is more accurately written as "1.00 buttloads"- remember your significant figures, kids!
<Agafnd> Bucket: buttload ~= s/"-/" –/
<Bucket> Okay, Agafnd, factoid updated.
<Agafnd> how's that for incomprehensible strings
<Agafnd> i'm glad bucket doesn't need escaping
<Agafnd> actually
<Bucket> * Agafnd adjusts his glasses and takes a deep breath
<Agafnd> Bucket: inventory
<Bucket> I am carrying fewer cheeseburgers, Agafnd, a collection of famous pubes, why is it hot af today, Saturday, tonyb486's worry, bearachute leg, French Fries, Graham's number, Plan B, the bellagio, "It Came From Uranus" Sci-Fi/Body Horror, an alternate universe where buckets store things in people, ALL the chocolate, a Polybius ROM dump, a crate of M43, 343 Guilty Spark, rowhouses, a ticket for the Titanic, and the hand of vecna.
<Agafnd> turns out i *do* need to escape bucket