Smile )XKCDB


<XanT> You can actually look at the energy ratings of the flats the large place with wooden floors and no double glazing is slightly more energy efficient than the smaller place with double glazing and carpets
<XanT> The former has central heating, the other electric heaters.
<benjaminikuta> Electric heat? You mean bitcoin miners?
<Lisimba> Yeah but without the bitcoins.
<Stereo> so, probably more useful to society
<Xenos> I just had a visit from a priest
<eezo> Xenos, did you order an exorcism ? :P
<Xenos> eezo: But I don't *wanna* go home!
<offbeatwitch> ... just sent a file to myself over DCC
<offbeatwitch> this feels entirely stupid
<SpaceHobo> in 1993 someone dcc sent me a file called a_quarter
<SpaceHobo> inside it said "call someone who cares"
<@CO2> multiplexd: "it works on my machine" "then we'll ship your machine!"
<@CO2> and that's how docker was born
<[R]> Nice, I was drk_nemesis back then
<[R]> Definately not a handle I'd use now
<IceKarma> [R], hey, if something has no limits, it's...?
<IceKarma> (looking for a word starting with "i")
<[R]> infinite?
<IceKarma> [R], and... if it *does* have limits, it's...?
<[R]> Windows
<terran> [the cat] just prefers here
<terran> spends all day either on the windowsill or asleep outside the front or back door
<terran> making every attempt possible to get inside
<Charlie> it stashed some drugs in there before you got home
<Vulpes_> good cat
<IronAngel> I can actually explain this
<Vulpes_> <3 cat
<IronAngel> its like when you have an indoor cat that isnt allowed into the bathroom (or where ever) - their drive to explore means all closed doors are a high offense to their cat dignity
<Charlie> "i can't go there? for that reason alone, there is nowhere i'd rather go"
<Charlie> i know many people who work on the same principle
<IronAngel> you have an entire gigantic BOX it is not being allowed to explore... and it probably has many smaller boxes inside... some of which might contain food
<Charlie> especially children
<IronAngel> because, after all, its big home box has boxes with food, thus this one must as well!
<IronAngel> thanks for coming to my TEDpettalk
<tonyb486> They seriously printed out, like, a 200 page spreadsheet. Five copies. We went over one page of it.
<betawaffle> tonyb486: weird, that sounds like a law firm to me. where do you work?
<tonyb486> betawaffle: Law firm
< loudaslife> dammit, there are 3 different sizes of toilet flange and I have no idea which this one is
< loudaslife> the toilet model doesn't neccesarily match to a particular flange
< loudaslife> I think I'm just going to go with 3" and hope it fits
< CO2> that's what she said
< Xenos> Bucket: Invent something
* Bucket creates a Xenos emulator.
< Xenos> Dammit
<+Bucket> Dammit Archer!
< Xenos> I mean making a Xenos emulator is one thing, but doing it in three lines of code is just humiliating
< Iykury> sudo systectdissddm
< Iykury> octakencrations
< Iykury> sudo systectstop sddm
< CO2> wut
< powera> all i got was "Hunter2"
< Iykury> h*ck why did that go over irc
< Iykury> frickin' tty was being weird
< Rena> ENOTTY
< CO2> Iykury: This incident has been reported.
< Rena> cool password btw

< Iykury> just changed my password if anyone's wondering
< CO2> Iykury: what did you change it to?
< Iykury> CO2: hunter2
< CO2> ok
<crawfs> there was a time when one of his replies to "cool" was a dick pic with sunglassess
<Buckley> i find that less offensive than an aids joke
<crawfs> Bucket, depends how much you like the sight of penises I suppose
* Bucket stares at crawfs in disbelief.
<sean> thank you
<sean> I hoped to have sex more than once before i turned 30
<sean> but whatever
<Bucket> <-- helped!
<eezo> oh jesus christ
<eezo> on a pogo stick
<eezo> I was being nice to one of the members of our minecraft server, because I generally am nice to people
<eezo> now she thinks I was hitting on her x.x
<Agafnd> aw
<eezo> this is seriously no bueno
<eezo> lmao
<eezo> i'm literally more than twice her age hahahaha
<Agafnd> she's probably unpleasantly used to creepers :(
<Agafnd> i mean
<Agafnd> minecraft
<Agafnd> but that's not what i meant
* Jax184 gives Bucket two tickets to a furry convention
* Bucket drops its standards and takes two tickets to a furry convention.
<Jax184> that's the spirit
* Ferris puts external medicine in bucket
* Bucket is now carrying external medicine.
<Agafnd> Ferris: now i am imagining a prescription bottle of pills labeled "EXTERNAL MEDICINE" and nothing else
<Agafnd> wait, a bottle of pills?
<Agafnd> what the heck, imagination
<Agafnd> shouldn't that be a bottle of liniment?
<Xenos> Agafnd: External pills?
<Agafnd> yeah
<Agafnd> external pills
<Xenos> Just pour them all over yourself before you go to sleep
<Xenos> I can see this being a hit
<Agafnd> it has a big warning label "NOT FOR INTERNAL USE"
<rcombs> telephone poles are just taxidermied trees
<BytesAndCoffee> no, they're trees that got jobs
<BytesAndCoffee> stripped of any personality, poked and prodded to make them useful
<BytesAndCoffee> forced to stand in line
<BytesAndCoffee> any deviation from the norm is reason for either "corrective action" or replacement
<BytesAndCoffee> ...that got very depressing, very fast
<rcombs> BytesAndCoffee: we literally pump them full of preservatives though
<BytesAndCoffee> rcombs: your job doesn't have ready stocks of chips and soda on-hand?
<NeatNit> I'm not familiar with the local rules, would it be okay to PM davean about the broken random button thing?
<Aaeriele> fwiw, random works for me
<NeatNit> well it does now....
<loudaslife> It works for me now too, but I swear it didn't 5 minutes ago
<NeatNit> some fairy must have fixed it
<loudaslife> NeatNit: most people have it set to notify them when you mention their name, so I'm guessing he saw this and fixed it without saying anything
<davean> NeatNit: what random button thing?
<NeatNit> loudaslife, one can never know if he's really online though
<NeatNit> not even now
<BairotciV> I formed a religion based on loss.jpg
<@Kalium> that's called twitter
<BytesAndCoffee> Kalium: how do i delete your blog
<@Kalium> Look you'll need to be specific about which awful thing I said
< rcombs> some people get down on one knee to propose
< rcombs> I get down on one knee to stabilize a low-angle shot
<BairotciV> Oracle989: you should use less nicks
<BairotciV> your entry in the aliases file is really long

<Oracle989> BairotciV: What? Oracle989, Oracle990, OracleGoddammit, OraclePhone, OracleMobile, and a handful of holiday nicks
<Oracle989> Oh and OracleCarbon and OracleNitrogen
<Oracle989> I think there might also be OracleTelephonic
<Oracle989> Booracle989, SpookyOracle989, one or two Christmas ones
<Oracle989> Can't be more than a dozen nicks
< password2> hi
< goost73> password2: hello!
< password2> how are you?
< goost73> password2: awake! yourself?
< password2> goost73, just finished my 100th park run
< password2> so a 100 saturdays of running 5km
< goost73> password2: do you plan to run 500 km more?
< password2> goost73, certainly
< goost73> password2: just to be the password who ran 1000 km to fall down at someone's door?
< goost73> ba da da da, ba da da da, etc
< password2> :/
< seven> Every day is leg day if you live at the top of a large hill where every destination is downhill.
< seven> My calves are cows now.
<@Kalium> i enter the irc network, I talk to the opers, I run past the channel admins and I
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<Xenos> "I've been tr***g to figure out why some p***le don't fucking spell out certain fucking w**ds, and I can m**e no motherfucking sense of it."
<Kizul> Xenos: i**s b*c**se p**ple don't like to o**end others, so they s**f-c****r. I agree, though, it's pretty stupid. :I Either say the word you're "not" typing, or say a different word in place of it.
<Xenos> Kizul: soof-cooker-ing is clearly a bad thing
<@Stereo> censoring an apostrophe is a power move
<@Stereo> s*********r could be several things
<@Kalium> I did see someone self-censor the word "trump" but like, when they were using it for "x trumps y"
<@Stereo> screwdriver self-censor shareholder spectacular speedometer stockbroker stockholder storyteller strawflower streamliner sympathizer synthesizer
<Xenos> I'm going with synthesizer
<Xenos> I love those
<@Stereo> 11 11 letter words makes a kinda striking block of text
<Xenos> "It's because people don't like to offend others, so they synthesizer" makes perfect sense, too
<Xenos> Lesser forms of music can easily be deemed offensive, after all
* SpicyLemon gives bucket a cat wearing a hat
* Bucket is now carrying a cat wearing a hat, but dropped a space rat.
< eezo> man every time i see a video of north american home construction stuff, I wonder how the fuck nobody made the connection between "build a house out of wood" and "house collapses in a big storm"
< Copper> I mean, there's precedent in the literature
<@Stereo> ah yes, 3 pigs et al
< Bucket> butts should be seen and not heard.
* alice farts
<@alice> take that, bucket!
* Bucket is now carrying that.
<Skyblaze> I don't like these comparisons of "It's like hitting a basketball hoop x miles away moving at y velocity" because, poignant as it is, space is a lot easier to accurately traverse
<Skyblaze> Not to diminish these achievements at all, but the analogy is deeply flawed
<Agafnd> yeah there are no birds for one thing
<garblefart> i have dice now!
<garblefart> the d20 is weighted to 3 :(
<eezo> the d20s that I have all fall over to 6
* Kalium rolls 1d20
<dice> Kalium got: 3, for a total of 3
<@Kalium> garblefart: you're right
< nobody> ok people, we have a problem
< nobody> i need a whole lot more records
< nobody> and i don't have much money
< taixzo> thrift stores?
< nobody> yes, i visit the salvation army every day i'm off, its the only one near enough to walk to
< nobody> i need you guys to visit all your thrift stores on your days off, buy all the good records, and mail them to me
< nobody> great plan, huh?\
< couchy> which ones are the good records?
< taixzo> the round ones
<hppavilion1 > So... uh... given the title text of https://xkcd.com/435/
<hppavilion1 > What's Chemistry?
<taixzo > hppavilion1: bondage, obviously
<Agafnd> or we need like. muon-catalyzed fusion
<Agafnd> that needs muons though
<Agafnd> and heck if i know where to get muons anymore
<Agafnd> seems like with the fall of small family-run five'n'dimes, you can't get a good muon anywhere
<Agafnd> nope nope nope. 's a cryin' shame.
<marvin> ahoy
<Jaga> barometz: hey marvin
<barometz> marvin: hey Jaga
<multiplexd> i have two servers which presently have an uptime of 69 days
* multiplexd sighs
<Kalium> nice
<multiplexd> i have now finished my green ice cream
<@Kalium> what kind of icecream was it
<multiplexd> mint choc chip
<hppavilion1> Kalium: green
<hppavilion1> Keep up
<multiplexd> keep down
<multiplexd> i think we have a sniper in here :O
* hppavilion1 's head explodes
<dzamie> F
<@Kalium> people really need to learn to housetrain their snipers, otherwise just letting them run around like this is irresponsible
<taixzo> also, hey, it's a round-number milestone!
<VictoriaB> woo there are now 2^n xkcd comics
<VictoriaB> yeah
<Xenos> 2 kibicomics
<@barometz> if you count 404
<@barometz> which we do, of course, being the avant-garde motherfuckers that we are
<Bucket> the server is slow..
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<Opiboble> way to go Bucket you made people time out
<rcombs> >if you go home with someone and they have the banner of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall...that’s a big red flag
<Oracle989> rcombs, But if they have a Swiss flag, that's a plus!
<@Kalium> yeah, the nearest castle is Castle of Good Hope which used to be right on the coastline until we bult an extra kilometer and a half of land in front of it
<CO2> Kalium: wait you built land in the sea?
<CO2> I see you learned well from the Dutch
<VictoriaB> Kalium: why did they need to do that? SA is huge
<@Kalium> VictoriaB: all of cape town is trapped between mountains
<CO2> Kalium, VictoriaB: see, you have to understand, back in the day people captured by Dutch pirates had to walk the plank like anyone else
<CO2> but the Dutch pirates, being decent fellows, thought that the death sentence was a bit rude
<CO2> so instead they made people build an island first and THEN have them walk the plank
<CO2> and that's where the tradition of the Dutch filling in the sea comes from
[03:06:53] <uberushaximus> sweet relief, dog is finally coned, she cannot keep me up with licking, just.... banging
[03:08:05] <uberushaximus> `ok she broke it
<Stereo> 1 whole minute. pretty solid cone
<@Kalium> Sexting over TCP
<tonyb486> syn, syn, SYNNN
<Froward> its like nerd sniping but, ya know, with more.. lingering..
<multiplexd> Kalium: also, um, what is SoT?
<@Kalium> multiplexd: that's 100% a joke but it goes a little like this: Would you like to recieve a sext
<Froward> yes i would like to receive a sext
<@Kalium> I will send you a sext
<Froward> hmmmm im getting sext
<Froward> i got the sext
<multiplexd> Kalium: ahhhhh
<multiplexd> Kalium: that one
<Froward> wait this was a bad sext can you send anotehr sext
<@Kalium> I will resend the sext
<@Kalium> I have sent you a sext
<Froward> im not sure i have the sext
<VictoriaB> Kalium: I acknowledge my reception of a sext
<@Kalium> I will resend the sext
<The0x539> is this...a TCP three-way
<@Kalium> I have sent the sext
<Froward> i have the sext
* Kalium uses a broadcast address
<Bucket> It's not very effective!
<SpicyLemon> This is one of the cleanest dirty conversations I've ever seen.
<Froward> its a good sext
<VictoriaB> Kalium: you need to time out at some point
<@Kalium> I will end this sext
<Froward> im sending a sext
<@Kalium> after three failed sexts I would have to halve my sext rate
<tonyb486> please resend sext #4
<Froward> I WASNT EXPECTING THIS SEXT
<@Kalium> :D
<Froward> WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS
<VictoriaB> I am sending you a UDP sext
<VictoriaB> it may or may not arrive
<@Kalium> SHIT MY TEA BRB
<@alice> Kalium: Sanitize your cup now. Make new tea.
<@alice> Shit in your tea is a BAD DAY
<@Kalium> hey pikhq did you know it says gullible in the topic?
-!- pikhq changed topic to "gullible | Major sunspot activity sighted; geomagnetic storm expected | ..."
<@pikhq> Kalium: You're right, it does!
<multiplexd> anyone know how the UK phone network works these days?
<CO2> multiplexd: same as in Europe but the electrons have to keep to the left
<Xenos> deadbug: Your horoscope tells me that you're going to get beaten up by a guy wielding a bat. *pats bat* How does this make you feel?
* deadbug dons armor without breaking eye contact and slowly draws his.... LIGHTSABER
* Xenos gets the fire hose
<deadbug> um.
* Xenos shoots a high power water jet at the lightsaber-wielding deadbug
<deadbug> BLGARBLBLGLBLB
<Xenos> Oh, you put out the light saber? I was so wondering how steam-boiled armored bug would taste
* Xenos & Company. Low-tech solutions to a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away problems
* deadbug cracks open a fortune cookie for himself
<Sepet> bucket, fortune
<Bucket> it furthers one to cross the great water. well, most of the time anyway.
* couchie am couch
* Xenos sits im couch
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< axolotl> is there a good reference object that weighs, like, as much as a large mountain?
< Lisimba> axolotl: yes, a large mountain.
<CO2> doesn't it annoy you when GUIs act like smartasses?
<CO2> today I wanted to count the rows in a db table
<CO2> so I use the GUI for that and click on the table and click on count rows
<CO2> The response was "Succesfully counted rows."